Today has been a mad trip.....
Since being made redundant from a retail area manager job in January Ive been working on near enough minimum wage in a pharmacy. I cant do the 'im not working' thing. Not with my ethis, although I dont judge people and understand situations, I need something to drive me and keep my mind of things...I also have debts ...
Anyway, today was my last day, a Herulian trial in some ways. I felt stressed, not knowing what the future holds. Although I am an optomist, I havent always been, and today just got to me.
Travel down the road..Get the boat to my parents, desperate to talk to a great friend who is helping me so much. I get in and my Dad starts demanding that I load Windows 7 on his PC....as soon as I get in the door. Starts talking like he is a child. I am very controlled with anger, having had issues in the past, but I just exploded....said some pretty nasty stuff...In fairness, I was directing it to my ex, classic transferrence! My dad didnt deserve it.. I went into a room in my folks house and just sat there thinking what the hell I was playing at. My Dad is an old Sailor, Captain, and old scool. It takes a lot for him to apologise. He came into the room, looked at me, srugged his shoulders and walked back out....that was the most I have ever seen of his emotions..ha.
Meant a lot though, not what he said, which was nothing, but what was left out.
I sat downstairs with him and apologised, explaining that the last few weeks, living with friends, having little money and living out of three bags was pretty tough. We just sat not saying anything after that and I just knew we were cool....
Im sitting alone now...having a beer and feeling pretty excited about the future...
As a good friend once said..
Later Potatoes...hehe
Since being made redundant from a retail area manager job in January Ive been working on near enough minimum wage in a pharmacy. I cant do the 'im not working' thing. Not with my ethis, although I dont judge people and understand situations, I need something to drive me and keep my mind of things...I also have debts ...
Anyway, today was my last day, a Herulian trial in some ways. I felt stressed, not knowing what the future holds. Although I am an optomist, I havent always been, and today just got to me.
Travel down the road..Get the boat to my parents, desperate to talk to a great friend who is helping me so much. I get in and my Dad starts demanding that I load Windows 7 on his PC....as soon as I get in the door. Starts talking like he is a child. I am very controlled with anger, having had issues in the past, but I just exploded....said some pretty nasty stuff...In fairness, I was directing it to my ex, classic transferrence! My dad didnt deserve it.. I went into a room in my folks house and just sat there thinking what the hell I was playing at. My Dad is an old Sailor, Captain, and old scool. It takes a lot for him to apologise. He came into the room, looked at me, srugged his shoulders and walked back out....that was the most I have ever seen of his emotions..ha.
Meant a lot though, not what he said, which was nothing, but what was left out.
I sat downstairs with him and apologised, explaining that the last few weeks, living with friends, having little money and living out of three bags was pretty tough. We just sat not saying anything after that and I just knew we were cool....
Im sitting alone now...having a beer and feeling pretty excited about the future...
As a good friend once said..
Later Potatoes...hehe