Sitting in bed listening to The Queen is Dead. Funny how sad songs and music make me feel so alive and happy.
The last few days have been testing to say the least. I left home for the last time on Monday morning, through myself into a 10 hour shift and never came back. Ive been sleeping at friends houses and my parents since. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I always knew I was a strog person, but Im learning just how strong at the moment.
It was Wednesday wen I drove up the long dark drive to my parents that I nearly lost it..Coming home is so hard for me sometimes. I just want to make my parents proud and seeing them just made me so emotional. Not as much as making the walk up the road to my grandparents and breaking the news to them. Everyone was releived for me and surprisingly excited! That made me cry, but with happyness, not sorrow!
I have a great family and for years I have always thought we were fucked because communication is very rare....
I lost my job through redundancy in January, it would have been easy to give in to life, but I had to pick myself up and take whatever came my way. Ive gone from earning ridiculous amounts of money, to minimum wage. The only thing that I miss was the money to get some great Tattoos. I fear it will be a good while before I can visit Forevermore again...
There may be dark days ahead, but Ive got my deflector shield with me. Oh and my books of poetry, inside my manbag for emergency reading
So for the first time in a long time I feel I have a future. I might be careerless, womenless and, technically, homeless. You know what though, No-one has died! Life is far too short to stay with somone who verbally abuses you on a daily basis.
Im so excited about what could happen now. Need to get up and get a shower before my OCD kicks in Im learning to love again.......Myself!
The last few days have been testing to say the least. I left home for the last time on Monday morning, through myself into a 10 hour shift and never came back. Ive been sleeping at friends houses and my parents since. It was the hardest decision I have ever had to make. I always knew I was a strog person, but Im learning just how strong at the moment.
It was Wednesday wen I drove up the long dark drive to my parents that I nearly lost it..Coming home is so hard for me sometimes. I just want to make my parents proud and seeing them just made me so emotional. Not as much as making the walk up the road to my grandparents and breaking the news to them. Everyone was releived for me and surprisingly excited! That made me cry, but with happyness, not sorrow!
I have a great family and for years I have always thought we were fucked because communication is very rare....I lost my job through redundancy in January, it would have been easy to give in to life, but I had to pick myself up and take whatever came my way. Ive gone from earning ridiculous amounts of money, to minimum wage. The only thing that I miss was the money to get some great Tattoos. I fear it will be a good while before I can visit Forevermore again...
There may be dark days ahead, but Ive got my deflector shield with me. Oh and my books of poetry, inside my manbag for emergency reading
So for the first time in a long time I feel I have a future. I might be careerless, womenless and, technically, homeless. You know what though, No-one has died! Life is far too short to stay with somone who verbally abuses you on a daily basis.
Im so excited about what could happen now. Need to get up and get a shower before my OCD kicks in
Im learning to love again.......Myself!