i realized this morning as i was coming awake that i may have gotten home at 330 and it is a quarter to five but i am still just getting in the door. sometimes my mood or the circumstances or even my lack of motivationafter i pass the threshold can be a factor. i also didn't want to talk on th ephone long distance. i didn't have anything to say. it gets like this when an end is near. sometimes the weather changes but it is one of the first signs. there is that and then there is my restlessness.
so i guess it rained about four inches yesterday here in the city. a majority of it filled the deep puddles i had to trot thru starting at 600. they may have been water resistent a couple of years ago but they are just buckets now. soggy boots all day.
cold as fuck, soaked and back to work after a three day weekend. the world is a little stiff in the joints from inside my dome. a couple cups of sumatra will work some of that out. the rest will have to wilt away in the day as it goes.
days where it is hard to work hard is where y9ou really earn your money. you have to try harder and think beyond your squishy, clammy feebleness and get things done.
it is only tuesday and friday is a million miles away. i got a strange phone call out of the blue. a new friend, from myspace, hungout once, called and spewed for an hour sunday night. intelligent but issues and normal human dilemmas tho at the time it seem more like a contusion. it was funny because i had messaged her about some luthier info she had mentioned once, she got back to me, we played tag a little bit, tired again, played more tag, faded off and then i needed to access that info again, looked up the message and read some bulletin stuff about one of her projects and then bling. hmm. serendi[ity strikes i wish it wasn't so much process tho. very good people but lotsa pain. we'll see what the future holds...
lotsa says no but acts yes, no not about sex, at least not on the upper wavelengths. more about that ambiguity at some other time. more like me says, "do you wanna spew about it?" she says, "no i don't need to spew... right now" and then proceeds to spew. i guess she needed to deliver that bunch of shit out. it was crap and she got the raw end on a couple of issues so it had to come out. being more of an outsider to her world i think i was a safer ear than someone of the inner circle which, it seems, she has some frustration with.
her project is worthy and i hope she takes the pain and keeps fighting because it is important. at least to me.
i am currently frustrated by peoples action and words when they put a spin on things to shine the light different so that they are misperceived. i must admit i have done this as well. i need to keep a lid on that bullshit. just a bunch of crap for the future to
at you. fucking egos and self esteem bitches. 
so i guess it rained about four inches yesterday here in the city. a majority of it filled the deep puddles i had to trot thru starting at 600. they may have been water resistent a couple of years ago but they are just buckets now. soggy boots all day.
cold as fuck, soaked and back to work after a three day weekend. the world is a little stiff in the joints from inside my dome. a couple cups of sumatra will work some of that out. the rest will have to wilt away in the day as it goes.
days where it is hard to work hard is where y9ou really earn your money. you have to try harder and think beyond your squishy, clammy feebleness and get things done.
it is only tuesday and friday is a million miles away. i got a strange phone call out of the blue. a new friend, from myspace, hungout once, called and spewed for an hour sunday night. intelligent but issues and normal human dilemmas tho at the time it seem more like a contusion. it was funny because i had messaged her about some luthier info she had mentioned once, she got back to me, we played tag a little bit, tired again, played more tag, faded off and then i needed to access that info again, looked up the message and read some bulletin stuff about one of her projects and then bling. hmm. serendi[ity strikes i wish it wasn't so much process tho. very good people but lotsa pain. we'll see what the future holds...
lotsa says no but acts yes, no not about sex, at least not on the upper wavelengths. more about that ambiguity at some other time. more like me says, "do you wanna spew about it?" she says, "no i don't need to spew... right now" and then proceeds to spew. i guess she needed to deliver that bunch of shit out. it was crap and she got the raw end on a couple of issues so it had to come out. being more of an outsider to her world i think i was a safer ear than someone of the inner circle which, it seems, she has some frustration with.
her project is worthy and i hope she takes the pain and keeps fighting because it is important. at least to me.
i am currently frustrated by peoples action and words when they put a spin on things to shine the light different so that they are misperceived. i must admit i have done this as well. i need to keep a lid on that bullshit. just a bunch of crap for the future to
at you. fucking egos and self esteem bitches.