landminespring

I was going to post something about how I think the majority of people are cock suckers of the vile person or dumb ass variety, but after getting abut a paragraph in, the whole thing felt pointless and I lost steam. So I guess this is me posting what I said I decided not to post, with less words and revealing what seemingly could be a ruse to talk about cock suckers. This is untrue though, that wasnt my intention. Instead of wanting to discuss cock sucking, I think this was supposed to be a statement about how said suckers of cock have worn me down and I felt that discussing them would be pointless. Yet here it is, at a 120 word count (more or less), and my intentions were to let it go

I shouldnt spell check this To be spiteful.

But I in the end, I did spell check it. If youve read this far through a poorly thought out rant about how people make me very-fuckeeeeng-angry, you shouldnt have to decipher what I meant through spelling errors The grammar is enough to blow your god damned minds

Heres the plan You kidnap me, you should be dressed a ninja. Assure me things will be OK, but we need to go far away for my safety. We buy tickets, one way, to Tokyo where its been arranged to assimilate me into the city, into the fucking fabric of the culture. Ill be Maruko Ichi, Ill be the Japanese guy selling the foreigners pornography and weird Japanese toys to take back to America where they can make their friends jealous of what was probably a pretty uneventful trip. Ill be glad that their round eyes wont know Im really not Ichi, but instead Mark from the US. Im just as boring as they are, and if I would have had the cash and the time away from this collection of shit, I would have been in their place buying the peculiar vagina in a can knowing my friends were going to love it. Ill go home, probably on a bicycle, and eat sticky rice and fried mushrooms in hopes that the ninja remembered its Wednesday, and thats when he delivers my comics.

Id trick all those cock suckers.

Gummo is on IFC right now