Tuesday Mar 26, 2013

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I actually have no plans today! No appointments! It's a free day,well sort of. I still can't really do anything physical. I want to,but my back says no. Any movies out worth watching?
I had a disturbing dream about a girl I used to know, in disturbing I mean I'm awake and it didn't happen.
It was a glimpse of what it would be like if we were together today. There is no chance of that now. She's married with two children.
I hope my weight loss surgery helps my back pain,makes me lose all the weight I need and start living my life again. I know everyone has challenges of their own, when does it stop before it breaks you down to where you don't want to get it up? I feel emotionless theses days. I don't know the last time a cried. Damn this got serious, I need to go start my day.
alyeska:
Weight loss really should help your back. Of course, any time you see a Doc about back pain when overweight they're just going to tell you to lose weight. Hopefully once the weight loss begins, if the pain is still there then a doctor will actually help you. For YEARS I have always been very warm. I overheat quickly and get physically ill when out in the sunlight on warm days for too long. We're talking laying on the porch in a swimsuit when it's 85 and sunny out and I will feel like I'm going to throw up. It's been this way when I weighed 140lbs and I'm currently 209. Doctors keep telling me to just lose weight. Problem is, I overheat and get sick when working out so I can only do so much cardio before I want to die. Sometimes I have to stop before I even really get my heart and lungs pumping. Doctors can be total dicks about it.

It will get better for you. You will be able to be healthy and happy. Once you're able to move, you will feel better about yourself and the life around you. I promise. You will always be able to keep going, to keep trying, and to keep improving. You CAN get through this.

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