A short time ago, a friend of mine asked me what I believe to be the most intimate question that can be asked of a person. Despite the fact that I had an answer (and she had NO answer to the same question 
), I feel my expression was woefully incomplete, and hence I'll endeavor to answer more completely now. The question being simply "What does the word love mean to you?".
When I was 17, I read book called Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. Despite the work's insane idealism, it literally changed my life. Even as a small child, I always felt like an alien in my own home. My values, my way of thinking just didn't really fit with anyone I'd ever met, especially that of any member of my family. But, contained in this novel were two quotes that I'd like to share. Together, they express what my version of love is, closer than I could ever describe it on my own.
1) The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will wan't the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer - because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut. He does not seek to gain his value, he seeks to express it. There is no conflict between the standards of his mind and the desires of his body... Love is our response to our highest Values - and can be nothing else. Let a man corrupt his values and his view of existence, let him profess that love is not self-enjoyment, but self-denial, that virtue consists, not of pride, but of pity or pain or weakness or sacrifice, that the noblest love is born, not of admiration, but of charity, not in response to Values, but in response to Flaws - and he will have cut himself in two
This quote identifies the biggest factor that I see in most relationships that I've never understood. I realize that humans like to feel "needed", but it boggles my mind how overwhelming that desire can be for most people. In the end though, the goal of a romantic relationship should be the ability to learn and grow, the rest, while not completely unrewarding, is superficial and transitory.
2) I love you, Dominique, I love you so much that nothing can matter to me - not even you. Can you understand that? Only my love, not your answer. Not even your indifference. I've never taken much from the world, I haven't wanted much. I've never really wanted anything. Not in the total, undivided way, not with the kind of desire that becomes an ultimatum, 'yes' or 'no', and one can't accept the 'no' without ceasing to exist. That's what you are to me. But when on ereaches that stage, it's not the object that matters, it's the desire. Not you, but I. The ability to desire like that. Nothing less is worth feeling or honoring. And I've never felt that before. Dominique, I've never known how to say 'mine' about anything. Not in the sense I say ot about you. Mine. Did you call it a sense of life as exultation? You said that. you understand. I can't be afraid. I love you, Dominique - I love you - you're letting me say it now - I love you.
This passage describes a situation that is even more alien to mainstream society, but perfectly natural to me. While my analysis of the previous quote included the fundamental desire to be needed, the crux of the matter here is the desire to be loved. If you ask someone why they love their mate, 99 percent of the time you'll get an answer which boils down to either "they love me" or "they do such and such for me". Again, I understand the attraction of such things, but that just isn't my version of love. The quote describes a man telling his wife (who is about to leave him) that he loves her, not because she loves him, but instead due to her inate qualities. The qualities she has exemplify why life is worth living for him. Every day, we see the ugly side of human nature, but once in a long while a person comes into your life who replenishes your faith in goodness, because they ARE, not because they did anything for you. Like a sunrise or sunset, a natural part of the world can make you truly content.
I could go on and on and on about this stuff forever, but I suppose it's time to end the gushiness and return to the stoicism of manhood. *ROAR*
Now, time for the Cubs / Sox, then the Ministry show with Apexxx & Zabo. Have a great holiday, and I'll see many of you on the 4th.
), I feel my expression was woefully incomplete, and hence I'll endeavor to answer more completely now. The question being simply "What does the word love mean to you?".
When I was 17, I read book called Atlas Shrugged, by Ayn Rand. Despite the work's insane idealism, it literally changed my life. Even as a small child, I always felt like an alien in my own home. My values, my way of thinking just didn't really fit with anyone I'd ever met, especially that of any member of my family. But, contained in this novel were two quotes that I'd like to share. Together, they express what my version of love is, closer than I could ever describe it on my own.
1) The man who is proudly certain of his own value, will wan't the highest type of woman he can find, the woman he admires, the strongest, the hardest to conquer - because only the possession of a heroine will give him the sense of an achievement, not the possession of a brainless slut. He does not seek to gain his value, he seeks to express it. There is no conflict between the standards of his mind and the desires of his body... Love is our response to our highest Values - and can be nothing else. Let a man corrupt his values and his view of existence, let him profess that love is not self-enjoyment, but self-denial, that virtue consists, not of pride, but of pity or pain or weakness or sacrifice, that the noblest love is born, not of admiration, but of charity, not in response to Values, but in response to Flaws - and he will have cut himself in two
This quote identifies the biggest factor that I see in most relationships that I've never understood. I realize that humans like to feel "needed", but it boggles my mind how overwhelming that desire can be for most people. In the end though, the goal of a romantic relationship should be the ability to learn and grow, the rest, while not completely unrewarding, is superficial and transitory.
2) I love you, Dominique, I love you so much that nothing can matter to me - not even you. Can you understand that? Only my love, not your answer. Not even your indifference. I've never taken much from the world, I haven't wanted much. I've never really wanted anything. Not in the total, undivided way, not with the kind of desire that becomes an ultimatum, 'yes' or 'no', and one can't accept the 'no' without ceasing to exist. That's what you are to me. But when on ereaches that stage, it's not the object that matters, it's the desire. Not you, but I. The ability to desire like that. Nothing less is worth feeling or honoring. And I've never felt that before. Dominique, I've never known how to say 'mine' about anything. Not in the sense I say ot about you. Mine. Did you call it a sense of life as exultation? You said that. you understand. I can't be afraid. I love you, Dominique - I love you - you're letting me say it now - I love you.
This passage describes a situation that is even more alien to mainstream society, but perfectly natural to me. While my analysis of the previous quote included the fundamental desire to be needed, the crux of the matter here is the desire to be loved. If you ask someone why they love their mate, 99 percent of the time you'll get an answer which boils down to either "they love me" or "they do such and such for me". Again, I understand the attraction of such things, but that just isn't my version of love. The quote describes a man telling his wife (who is about to leave him) that he loves her, not because she loves him, but instead due to her inate qualities. The qualities she has exemplify why life is worth living for him. Every day, we see the ugly side of human nature, but once in a long while a person comes into your life who replenishes your faith in goodness, because they ARE, not because they did anything for you. Like a sunrise or sunset, a natural part of the world can make you truly content.
I could go on and on and on about this stuff forever, but I suppose it's time to end the gushiness and return to the stoicism of manhood. *ROAR*
Now, time for the Cubs / Sox, then the Ministry show with Apexxx & Zabo. Have a great holiday, and I'll see many of you on the 4th.