Do you believe in love at first sight? Honestly, about 99 percent of the time, I think it's a stupid question that's inherently false, even despite my previous experience which you'll read about in what follows.
About 13 years back it actually happened to me. I met someone, and just instant felt as if I knew who this person was from one look into her eyes. No talking or experience required. And the scary thing ended up being that I was never proven wrong. Of course, the relationship never progressed as I would have liked, she was already taken. I have this insane sense of honor that would never allow me to go past a certain point. Yet, just by being friends with this person, I understood that it was possible for someone to understand you, strengths, weaknesses, power and shame. Maybe it was because we were so much alike. No other relationship I ever had can compare in this regard, even if this one did lack in the intimacy and shared experience department.
So... the reason I bring this up is that tonight I just had an amusing, but also mentally gut-wrenching experience. To fill you in on the backstory, this girl I was in love with was engaged to a surgeon, the very surgeon that had saved her father after a sudden stroke a few years before. He was an overbearing, closed-minded sort who worked 18 hours a day, leaving my friend alone to do as she would. She was incredibly unhappy, but felt she owed this man a lot for being there for her, when her world was falling apart (her mother had also died when she was 14). At some point maybe 6 months after we'd met, things really started coming to a head between her and her fiance. He didn't want her to work (she had an Ivy League degree and was absolutely brilliant), he didn't want her to have friends, especially a male one. She refused his demands as unreasonable.
The following day, she shows up at my door crying, a massive bruise on her face telling me she's moving back to NY that very day, leaving me with only a note as explanation. What else was there left for me to do, but the obvious? I went down to the hospital and had this idiot paged as an emergency. He'd probably only even met me once and didn't even recognize me as he walked up to the nurse's station. I didn't say anything, just reared back and hit him hard in the face. He was knocked out cold, a bunch of nurses screaming and gaping in shock, while I just walked slowly away. No one stopped me, even crying as I was, with blood spattered on me.
Today, all these years later, I'm walking through dowtown Boston and I spot this guy on the street no more than 10 feet from me. Involuntarily, I tense up, ball my fists and what I can only assume was a sickenly evil smile rises on my face. He stops dead in his tracks and looks right at me for a couple of seconds, then runs back the other way at a sprint. Like I said, amusing, especially since he has a good 8 inches and 50 pounds on me. But, of course, now I have to deal with all these old feelings long-since buried...
I have no particular idea why I decided to tell this story, but I'd much rather be in Chicago tonight at Ophelia, LadyK and elora's Halloween party (despite my pathological loathing of costumes
). But at least I got to hang with my good friends Matt and Nikki tonight, since my business crapola is done. Hope everyone's having a great weekend. I want to see pictures ASAP! 
About 13 years back it actually happened to me. I met someone, and just instant felt as if I knew who this person was from one look into her eyes. No talking or experience required. And the scary thing ended up being that I was never proven wrong. Of course, the relationship never progressed as I would have liked, she was already taken. I have this insane sense of honor that would never allow me to go past a certain point. Yet, just by being friends with this person, I understood that it was possible for someone to understand you, strengths, weaknesses, power and shame. Maybe it was because we were so much alike. No other relationship I ever had can compare in this regard, even if this one did lack in the intimacy and shared experience department.
So... the reason I bring this up is that tonight I just had an amusing, but also mentally gut-wrenching experience. To fill you in on the backstory, this girl I was in love with was engaged to a surgeon, the very surgeon that had saved her father after a sudden stroke a few years before. He was an overbearing, closed-minded sort who worked 18 hours a day, leaving my friend alone to do as she would. She was incredibly unhappy, but felt she owed this man a lot for being there for her, when her world was falling apart (her mother had also died when she was 14). At some point maybe 6 months after we'd met, things really started coming to a head between her and her fiance. He didn't want her to work (she had an Ivy League degree and was absolutely brilliant), he didn't want her to have friends, especially a male one. She refused his demands as unreasonable.
The following day, she shows up at my door crying, a massive bruise on her face telling me she's moving back to NY that very day, leaving me with only a note as explanation. What else was there left for me to do, but the obvious? I went down to the hospital and had this idiot paged as an emergency. He'd probably only even met me once and didn't even recognize me as he walked up to the nurse's station. I didn't say anything, just reared back and hit him hard in the face. He was knocked out cold, a bunch of nurses screaming and gaping in shock, while I just walked slowly away. No one stopped me, even crying as I was, with blood spattered on me.
Today, all these years later, I'm walking through dowtown Boston and I spot this guy on the street no more than 10 feet from me. Involuntarily, I tense up, ball my fists and what I can only assume was a sickenly evil smile rises on my face. He stops dead in his tracks and looks right at me for a couple of seconds, then runs back the other way at a sprint. Like I said, amusing, especially since he has a good 8 inches and 50 pounds on me. But, of course, now I have to deal with all these old feelings long-since buried...
I have no particular idea why I decided to tell this story, but I'd much rather be in Chicago tonight at Ophelia, LadyK and elora's Halloween party (despite my pathological loathing of costumes
). But at least I got to hang with my good friends Matt and Nikki tonight, since my business crapola is done. Hope everyone's having a great weekend. I want to see pictures ASAP! VIEW 13 of 13 COMMENTS
I'll get to the lyrics once i get into my own place and setup my studio. some of my live recording shit got fucked up in the flood, so i have to buy some new shit, but a lot of those songs on the CD have lyrics already, it's just a matter of recording them. i also have about 10 other tracks that are done and just need some fine tuning, and about 15 others that are in the works.