lance47

Work has been so slow the last few weeks. I have been spending lots of hours waiting between clients. Tuesday as I'm waiting in the upstairs lounge of the spa, the phone rings. (I am on a unwanted four hour break) "Lance there is a lady downstairs, she may or may not book a massage, she wants to see you first", My spa director informs me. So I proceed downstairs. I find an elfish woman in her early to mid sixties, I say, "Good afternoon, I'm Lance, Could I answer any questions for you?" She (the potential client) pauses for a moment reflectively, smiles, then says "You'll do just fine Lance." Upon returning to my upstairs hideout, My director asks "so how did it go?" "Well she is going to book the massage and she didn't ask me to do a runway turn so I think we are all good."

I received this joke on my email hope you enjoy it, Lance
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Choosing A Wife

A man wanted to get married. He was having trouble
choosing among three likely candidates. He gives each
woman a present of $5,000 and watches to see what they
do with the money.

The first does a total make over. She goes to a fancy
beauty salon gets her hair done, new make up and buys
several new outfits and dresses up very nicely for the
man. She tells him that she has done this to be more
attractive for him because she loves him so much.




The man was impressed.




The second goes shopping to buy the man gifts. She
gets him a new set of golf clubs, some new gizmos for
his computer, and some expensive clothes. A s she
presents these gifts, she tells him that she has spent
all the money on him because she loves him so much.


Again, the man is impressed.


The third invests the money in the stock market. She
earns several times the $5,000. She gives him back his
$5,000 and reinvests the remainder in a joint account
She tells him that she wants to save for their future
because she loves him so much.


Obviously, the man was impressed.


The man thought for a long time about what each woman
had done with the money he'd given her.




Then, he married the one with the biggest boobs.


Men are like that, you know.


There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra today than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2040, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.