lamoustache

I had the most exciting day of work ever today.

I stopped my first shop-lifter. There's this biiiiiiig black dude with this reeeeeeeegular sized white girlfriend/wife/whatever who come into the store often. We know they steal, so we keep an eye on them when they're in. Generally, they get away with it.

Not today.

I was cleaning up the store and noticed the dude lingering around the toothpaste. He picked up a box, dropped it on the ground, and I watched him. He gave me a glance, and I knew that he knew that I knew that he was up to no good.

So I'm in the same general spot and he comes back to the toothpaste. He picks up a couple of boxes and starts to walk away.

I watch him in the mirrored dome fixtures on the ceiling. He stops about ten feet from where he was, and I see him fumbling around in front of his stomach. I hear the sound of cardboard being manipulated.

I walk into the aisle and saunter up to the gentleman. He's holding two empty boxes of toothpaste and the toothpastes themselves. The following is what occurred:

Me: Could you give those to me?
Him: Oh, yeah, here ya go. Hey, how much are these?
Me: I don't know, but they're not being stolen today.
Him: Oh, yeah, okay. (begins to walk away)
Me: And I'd appreciate it if you didn't come into my store anymore.
Him: Oh, yeah, okay. (this is his catch phrase, apparently, as he exits the store.)

He sort of just loomed around outside waiting for his girl and kid (who kept running around looking for his dad) finished their shopping.

I rode on a wave of extacy after busting some shithead shoplifter.

The only confusing thing is this - he was stealing one of the cheapest toothpastes we sell. There have been times when, while cleaning the store, we find empty battery packages stuffed away somewhere. The cheapo batteries, too.

If you're going to steal from a store, why not steal the best brand? When you want to get away without paying for something, shouldn't you go all-out to try and stick it to CORPORATE AMERICA~ (or whatever the reasons these people steal from the Family Dollar are. My guess: more money for McDonald's and Menthols.) instead of scraping the bottom of the barrel?

Then again, these people are already at the bottom of the barrel. I suppose it's easier to reach something on their own level than to grasp something teetering on the outer rim.

In conclusion, I am a bad-ass crime stopper and should be feared nation-wide.

Now I drink smoothies and watch wrestling.

The end.