laid_to_rest

my friend casey and i have been on a drinking binge. we pledged 40 days and 40 nights of alcoholism. we're on day 27. it's fun not having anything to live for. i've never felt so fucking free in my life. i don't feel tied down to anything. i've just been drinking and listening to U2. when judy left me i just started to feel so empty inside, so i started to drink more and more. i've found that it's the only thing that chases away the pain. we haven't talked in a week and i have no idea where she is. i just feel like cutting my wrists wide open and letting out all the anguish i feel in a spill of bright red blood. i truly wish i hadn't been brought into this fucked up life. people car-bombing each other, people slicing throats just to be the next president, girls leaving home to be porn stars.....boys giving up their lives to alcohol. i'm just living the american dream......