lafayetteproulx

I've been undergoing some serious life changes lately. I uprooted my life in austin (and stosbet's entire life) to move back to Memphis to be closer to friends and family. I'm trying to lose the 50 pounds I've gained in the past few years. I'm trying to take the first steps of shifting my photography from hobby to potential career.

There's one thing I need to try and be, a better person. I do go through the ups and downs of my bipolar but its no excuse for the way I treat other people. I put down friends and family for the harmless, sometimes even kind or thoughtful things they do. I never compliment or admire things. Take the other day for example, stosbet, sailorjessie, and our friend Jared went out for dinner at Hooters. Before we pulled into the parking lot I made fun of a family that was pulling out in their car. When we sat down I eyed the waitresses and put down the ones with the small chests, the stumpy legs, the atrocious make-up. 'Ugh I'm glad she's not our waitress' I'd say about them. I made fun of the guy next to me and his tye-dye shirt. I made fun of the kid across from us for looking like your stereotypical white rapper. After our waitress stumbled through something on the menu I said she was as dumb as a bag of bricks after she walked away. I complained that our bill was too high even though I knew 2 beers and 2 pina colotas would be pricy, I still let us order them. I even tried to blame Stosbet for it.

When did I get to a point where I can be so cold to the people closest to me and complete strangers? I used to be a likeable guy, I used to be witty and the center of attention without having to resort to cheap insults. All of my charisma is gone and id really like it back. I honestly don't know why people put up with me the way I treat them.