ladylovelybrit

As I was sitting and having my morning cigarette I decided that maybe I did want to blog again, I do have things to say, I just feel like I never say them quite right, or I feel foolish and delete them.

This is the most recent picture of me...

This picture was taken a few months ago, I just got my lip pierced a day ago, but I just haven't felt much like taking pictures of myself or my world lately, I have gained a lot of weight, and just feel ugly and crappy about everything in general right now.

My marriage has definitely been trying lately, but honestly I know that it isn't all of my husbands fault. I knew when I married him that he liked being around others and that I don't, and that we are so dissimilar in taste and likes and dislikes, and that was going to separate us at least a little bit, I was just surprised at how fast it happened. I keep going into jealous psycho bitch mode and I am starting to see how cruel I can be, and I don't want to be that way anymore, but I am standing up for what I want too.

I have also become more aware of the fact that when I say negative things and turn an issue into a personal vendetta, I am being selfish and its not fair to either of us. I know he loves me, and wants to spend the rest of his life with me, and that change doesn't happen over night, I need to give him a fair chance, and not constantly second guess him and shove my opinions down his throat, we are married, we are supposed to figure it out together, not constantly go off of what we 'think' marriage is supposed to be, or anything for that matter.

I am starting to learn that Idealizing things can be very dangerous.

In a week we are going to be moving into a much nicer apartment about a block from our place now, and we are excited, its like a new start, this place is just filled with bad vibes, and a history that I really don't want to repeat.

My current obsessions at the moment...
The show 'The Office'...

Lockets shaped like vintage purses...

And my tumblr, www.ladylovelybrittney.tumblr.com

~ Edit ~
I really really REALLY want a cat. My mom brought home a new kitten a few months ago, and now when I am lonely I go over to her place to hangout with her two dogs and two cats, I just feel like I relate way more to animals than humans and I actually enjoy their company. But our new apartment doesn't allow pets, and my husband is horribly allergic, but he said that someday he would look into the treatment because he wants kitties too. ^.^
I would love a ragdoll...


Brittney. <3