thank you from my heart to everyone who had kind words to share with me while i was down in the dumps...i really appreciate it, and im really grateful for the sweet words, they help a lot. xo
i dunno what it is, i guess i get overwhelmed by life. bills, bills, bills. i got my w2 and realized that since they made me exempt, even with my promotion i basically will make at least 6k less than i did last year. salary sucks. all this and planning for a wedding and house. blah. so i realized that i need to get a 2nd job. which is cool i dont mind that. and i found one right away, but i wasnt into driving a half hour to make 8 bucks an hour. eff that. so i didnt take it. and now im hoping i get a job working as reception at the front desk of the gym i go to. we shall see. that would actually be cool, and force me to go which would also be cool. though ive been pretty good about going lately anyways.
so yeah, i got overwhelmed by the amount of responsibility, frustrated with constantly spending my entire paycheck on bills and groceries, and just mentally exhausted from work itself. and in all of this i get down and forget to be grateful for the good in my life. which is abundant. and then when i realize im being mopey when i shouldn't be so negative because there is a lot im thankful for, i feel even more guilty and fall into deeper self-loathing.
ps: im also depressed and disappointed with myself because despite my best efforts over the past 6 months, i spent this entire depresso week eating meat. i had a couple of burgers, a salami sandwich, and italian sausage on my ravioli. which is not only bad considering im trying to lose weight and get healthy, but it also blows my attempt at vegetarianism out the door. and i get sad that i ate aminals. and that my will power took a dive and blah blah blah. more self loathing.
i feel better this week, but the will power thing is killing me.
kyle put in an application for a home loan and now we're just waiting. meanwhile, my dream home is sitting, available. and hopefully just waiting for us to get the ok.
sigh.
i dunno what it is, i guess i get overwhelmed by life. bills, bills, bills. i got my w2 and realized that since they made me exempt, even with my promotion i basically will make at least 6k less than i did last year. salary sucks. all this and planning for a wedding and house. blah. so i realized that i need to get a 2nd job. which is cool i dont mind that. and i found one right away, but i wasnt into driving a half hour to make 8 bucks an hour. eff that. so i didnt take it. and now im hoping i get a job working as reception at the front desk of the gym i go to. we shall see. that would actually be cool, and force me to go which would also be cool. though ive been pretty good about going lately anyways.
so yeah, i got overwhelmed by the amount of responsibility, frustrated with constantly spending my entire paycheck on bills and groceries, and just mentally exhausted from work itself. and in all of this i get down and forget to be grateful for the good in my life. which is abundant. and then when i realize im being mopey when i shouldn't be so negative because there is a lot im thankful for, i feel even more guilty and fall into deeper self-loathing.
ps: im also depressed and disappointed with myself because despite my best efforts over the past 6 months, i spent this entire depresso week eating meat. i had a couple of burgers, a salami sandwich, and italian sausage on my ravioli. which is not only bad considering im trying to lose weight and get healthy, but it also blows my attempt at vegetarianism out the door. and i get sad that i ate aminals. and that my will power took a dive and blah blah blah. more self loathing.
i feel better this week, but the will power thing is killing me.
kyle put in an application for a home loan and now we're just waiting. meanwhile, my dream home is sitting, available. and hopefully just waiting for us to get the ok.
sigh.
Back to watching Executive Koala,
LM
Look at all the positives you have going: you are exercising regularly (which I can only dream of doing at this point) and you may be a short time away from a dream house! Happy times are coming!