ladollyvita

today was a good day.

we officially released Ambition to Meaning (www.ambitiontomeaning.com), all of the DVDs have arrived and are shipping, screenings are going great, and the movie reviews flowing in are all very, very touching and uplifting....it was a bit crazy with it being on Ellen and the free stream that we're offering today and tomorrow, but i think that for once, it was...
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im bored out of my damn mind.

on a plus note, i made a bunch of healthy vegetarian meals for the week so i can start eating healthy and not have to think about it.

on a meh side, im bored out of my mind.

i was expecting christmas to be really glum, sad, missing my mom, lonely...it ended up being really, really great. minus the almost-fight in the parking lot of the bar because some guy was peeing on my car. he was really drunk and being stupid, but his friends (minus the bitchy girl) apologized and it was ok. but i was still mad. but other than that...
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RIP, bettie page.

xo

tomorrow is my 26th bday, and just as usual, i have nothing planned. i like it this way. i like being home, eating dinner, and enjoying the company of family. i dont like making a big deal of my bday. i requested the day off, but decided that im going to go in anyways. i have a lot of work to do, and thanksgiving weekend...
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OMG. today, i am one happy, happy girl.

im about to go to bed with a tummy ache from nervously gobbling shitty pizza glued to cnn but O.M.G. OBAMA!!!!! *eeee!!!!! so happy*

now im just waiting for props 4 and 8 to be rejected and i can rest somewhat easy.

congratulations, america

cooking and working out is going pretty great, and i fly to toronto for work in a couple of weeks which im excited about.

oh AND i won the football pool at work!! so i made $120! i donated like 30 of it to someone who is doing the aids walk...jeeze...what was i thinking...LOL jk...

AND im 11lbs closer to being comfortable enough with my...
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so i got really bored the other night (last night) and cut my own bangs. id never done it before, and cant tell whether i love it or hate it LOL it's somewhere in between that (...like it, maybe? haha).

femcon, lexapro, and mickey d's have helped me pack on 20lbs. i think thats what i dont like too much about my face - it's...
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things are lookin up! well, minus the im-so-broke-i-almost-sold-myself-on-craigslist brief brief experience, but hey, it was funny at the time haha

i cry about luna less, and am starting to make that transition from being desperately sad to looking back with love and fond memories. i miss that puppyface.

and i actually started going to the gym every day and watching that i dont eat as...
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every time i think i've found a great guy who cares, turns out hes the same old asshole who just wants to get fucked.

seriously.

i hate my life right now. i hate myself for makign stupid choices. and i hate that IM crying over it.

i want to disappear....

the sad part is, i have no one to go to right now. and that...
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i miss luna so much.....i thought we had another 10 years at least together and i cant believe my little baby was taken from me so suddenly....

it sounds so cliche, but if i had known that that was the last time i was gonna see her, i would have smooched her doggy lips one last time and called her my smoochie head and hugged...
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so years later i finally got it together and registered. the girls here are beautiful. definitely consumed 4 hours of my night.

sunday nights always make me sad....i should be looking forward to a whole new week but until school is over and while work is insane, i just dont like thinking about waking up on mondays.

sigh...