Well fuck.
She ses she loves me, but i just cant believe that.
How could you love someone who just continues to fuck you round...changes their mind CONSTANTLY...and is utterly devoid of a heart?
I actually think i am broken?
No. I know i am broken.
When she agrees, and takes those steps back....its then i feel for her....i want to bite her when she is all in my face, and Demanding.
She knows as well as i the situation.
She was there when i told it how it was.
I said it was a different thing for me to get into a 'relationship' with her. I can fuck. Its always been something i am quite good at, but add the emotions and things go wrong.I dont like it.
I mean...I like to feel liked....and be nice to someone, and have them be nice back....but i have that with all my close friends. 'LOVE' and stuff....i love my friends....like family....but i am uncomfortable to bring it into a relationship.....which is why i have endured THREE LONG YEARS with HIM. Those words have never been uttered. We are best friends.
My heart got broken, but not by a lover...well....by the death of someone most loved.
And now i am broken, and cant make SIMPLE descisions...let alone big ones.
Meh.
No interweb at home anymore.
Takes longer to reply to my fuckin fantastic friends.
But much love to youse fullas...and please take care.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
mastercraftsman:
Devoid of a heart sounds pretty familiar. We all have different ideas about how relationships should be I guess. It's taken me awhile to move on but life has been better for it. New adventures are making them just fond old memories....
fairyjochen:
How is New Zealand i these times?