lacunalethe

What is more important the you that you are or the you that I see? In America the myth of rugged individualism persists. That the you that you are is more important. I say myth because the people that we celebrate as rugged individualists are just popular. The truth is that everyone likes someone that's different in just the right way and no one likes it when the you that you are is different than the you that they want you to be. That is to say the you that they can enjoy.

Let's assume that you are thin and healthy. What would happen if you made a conscious decision to gain as much weight as possible? You might be celebrated by your peers for a while, but once you put on twenty pounds they'd start to avoid you. Once you added a hundred they might voice their concern or take other measures to try to get you to conform. As you rugged individualism takes you to four hundred pounds you might realize that you're getting more wrong numbers than people who actually want to talk to you.

People are essentially good as long as what they want is considered good. What they want form you depends upon the audience and the situation. Consider that if you are trying to get want from people step one is to know what people want from you. Who is your audience? What is the situation they're observing you in? What do they need from you? Do not lie. Do not misrepresent yourself. Don't waste everyone's time being clever. Accept that people are going to judge you, just as you will judge them and that judgment is just on force people use to organize themselves.