we were listening to Santa Baby on that oldies station i hate playing christmas songs i hate even more. but she loved it and she was swinger her head. she was so fucking excited about some bullshit ten dollar dvd that she saw at target and was now going to ask her mother for.
earlier we saw some movie about a happy family making it work through adversity or some such bullshit. she loved it and laughed through the whole thing.
before that we went bowling. she scored a 93... and then a 105. she wheels her chair up to a ramp.. and lets the ball slide down a lane with bumpers on it. still, this score was impressive for her standard.
santa baby and im driving up to her house.
the street is lined with police cars. her dead beat step father who always trying to seem so fucking charming and nice when hes pretending to not stare at my ass was waving his hands at the two officers asking him to leave.
something like "i pay your wages with taxes..." and other unintelligent crazed distress spewing from his mouth.
i pull her wheelchair out of my trunk and her braty little sister is being ever so sweet this evening. she offer to undo her seatbelt.. and i roll her up the ramp.
im trying to hurry out.
i walk briskly to my car trying very hard to not make eyecontact with any of the involved assholes in this entanglement of bad vibes.
i hear her mother crying. i know she only has the day off because tomorrow is her birthday. i know she works graveyard for minimum wage so that she can take care of four kids during the day. The older brother is on a short leave from the marines... he goes to iraq in a week or so. this doesnt matter. he never talks while he's there anyway.
that prick.. that fucking low life abuser asks me "how was she janae?"
"she was fine"
and i pulled away in a hurry to cry the whole way home.
dont fucking ask me why im jaded. dont ask me why im pissed. this is what i see
THIS IS WHAT IVE GONE THROUGH MY WHOLE LIFE.
at least i wasnt in a fucking wheelchair... at least i knew enough to not panic when the police took yet another daddy away from me.
fuck this world. FUCK IT. fuck this world. fuck shitty white trash lifestyles.. and people that can't come up.
you have some bills to pay?! you lost your fucking cell phone?!
shes come undone.
this world isnt fucking good enough for you.
its not good enough for either of us.
earlier we saw some movie about a happy family making it work through adversity or some such bullshit. she loved it and laughed through the whole thing.
before that we went bowling. she scored a 93... and then a 105. she wheels her chair up to a ramp.. and lets the ball slide down a lane with bumpers on it. still, this score was impressive for her standard.
santa baby and im driving up to her house.
the street is lined with police cars. her dead beat step father who always trying to seem so fucking charming and nice when hes pretending to not stare at my ass was waving his hands at the two officers asking him to leave.
something like "i pay your wages with taxes..." and other unintelligent crazed distress spewing from his mouth.
i pull her wheelchair out of my trunk and her braty little sister is being ever so sweet this evening. she offer to undo her seatbelt.. and i roll her up the ramp.
im trying to hurry out.
i walk briskly to my car trying very hard to not make eyecontact with any of the involved assholes in this entanglement of bad vibes.
i hear her mother crying. i know she only has the day off because tomorrow is her birthday. i know she works graveyard for minimum wage so that she can take care of four kids during the day. The older brother is on a short leave from the marines... he goes to iraq in a week or so. this doesnt matter. he never talks while he's there anyway.
that prick.. that fucking low life abuser asks me "how was she janae?"
"she was fine"
and i pulled away in a hurry to cry the whole way home.
dont fucking ask me why im jaded. dont ask me why im pissed. this is what i see
THIS IS WHAT IVE GONE THROUGH MY WHOLE LIFE.
at least i wasnt in a fucking wheelchair... at least i knew enough to not panic when the police took yet another daddy away from me.
fuck this world. FUCK IT. fuck this world. fuck shitty white trash lifestyles.. and people that can't come up.
you have some bills to pay?! you lost your fucking cell phone?!
shes come undone.
this world isnt fucking good enough for you.
its not good enough for either of us.
VIEW 9 of 9 COMMENTS
Please correct me if I didnt catch the full monty of what you were saying
i hope she can find a better life when she is old enough.