lackadaisiac

I'm so upset its making me physically ill, to the point were I think I might vomit. I'm mentally exhausted....

I want to soak my brain in alcohol and wring out the thoughts, like dirty water from a sponge.

I want to curl up in the arms of some large, ambiguous, warm, dark body.

I want to fall into the center of the earth.

I want to know how it feels to see my lifes blood drain from my body and know that eventually, I will be free from the burden of thought.

Time can only tell and each minute is slicing deeper into my heart. I don't know what to do and I feel incredibly lost right now. I've never been in love with anyone before, I'm twenty-six, and I know how rare it is. ..

It's very late but I don't want to sleep to bring forth the next day. Still, I can't stay awake because that will do me in...

My heart is shattered and alI I want is for the pieces to be stomped out of existence.

Mostly I want to destroy something




Time has slowed down, like when I used to drop acid and the unbearable became eternal. I didn't know it could be like this. I feel like such a chump, a sucker, a failure...



Nothin like bourbon for breakfast