ok babies... i realize i'm really not on much so i dont' have too much or really any blog following.... but lets just let it all out here anyways......
so maybe you some remember that i left that stoner boyfriend for a nice shy guy? eh. shy guy tries but he's so underconfident. it's hard. and i did kick the weed habit five months now..... for the shy guy it wasn't his game. said it was unattractive or whatever. yeah if you are messed all the time, nice three day weekend binge- i don't have a problem with that.
so anyways, friday feb 1st is my b-day and i want a nice big birthday blunt. i moved over the summer and since i was sober i dont' have any connections out here.. so i called my x. (who still loves me and i love him..... for the record... lol) he says he's got me... my shy guy bf finds out and is not happy. says i gotta cancel it.... eh,,. so i text the x and say i can't buy off him. he says--- you aren't buying..... i tell him i appreciate that but i've been off it for a while.... maybe i shouldn't..... he says it's not like you'll be buying and besides i was thinking we could enjoy it together....
sold! sorry.... you anti-weeds.... you know... my shy guy has a good heart... but he's not my style... my x omg! lets paint a picture..
skinny syrian (yum) long blonde hair in ringlets .... big beard... baby looks like he's got on a lion mane. he's a drummer in a band Calea he's a graphic artist.... writer... paints..... does wicked art....dully art and he's totally amazing.
so... problem! if i see him saturday.. day after my b-day and before he goes to band practice i'm gonna end up cheating on my shy guy bf...... but now... it's friday night a week before my b-day and i'm supposed to pick up shy guy for a romantic weekend. you read right.. pick up.... boy don't have a car.... eh... meanwhile... lets say i don't get all screwed up in the head and get a good shag outta it.... (heartless hate me.... whatever- i gotta figure this out for me...)
but then.... whatever happens.... if i leave him now. tomorrow... before my b-day he'll think i chose weed over him... since that's what he said to me today... that he was afraid i'd chose weed over him... alright break up i guess.... but say... i don't have the stones to leave him... or i feel bad... so friday my b-day comes around. he's not overnighting it no way. saturday noonish my x is coming over and i'mma let what happens happen... i love that boy. if i cheat i cheat. i can tell or not tell. i'm sure giving the occasion... i will be able to better deal. hypotheticals are messy. and seriously you can't really predict in advance what you are going to do.
but now. i've gotta figure a way to make the bf shy guy
sorry i was thinking the same thing too......
not stay over friday night... and i know i know. if i really don't feel it with him i should just grow the balls (metaphorically) and say, hey ya know...... i'm not really into this... but until i do that i need to just figure out how not to make a big thing outta my b-day weekend...
can't say i have a real clue... lying isn't my style... although i guess that is where i'm leaning. maybe i'll get the nerve and say... saturday i'm seeing my x (sure i'll use his name then) idk. and let him sweat or get mad and just play it like " you trust me or what?" and either i pass the trust or i don't... whatever....
some like to say "all is fair in love and war......"
other stuff???? camera funtime! lets see what happens... might as well endulge in the voyeristic pleasure of self-splotation. .....
and the newest addition....
so yeah. a lot is going on.... <3 and if you read it and don't hate then... many many
to ya!
<3 coin.
so maybe you some remember that i left that stoner boyfriend for a nice shy guy? eh. shy guy tries but he's so underconfident. it's hard. and i did kick the weed habit five months now..... for the shy guy it wasn't his game. said it was unattractive or whatever. yeah if you are messed all the time, nice three day weekend binge- i don't have a problem with that.
so anyways, friday feb 1st is my b-day and i want a nice big birthday blunt. i moved over the summer and since i was sober i dont' have any connections out here.. so i called my x. (who still loves me and i love him..... for the record... lol) he says he's got me... my shy guy bf finds out and is not happy. says i gotta cancel it.... eh,,. so i text the x and say i can't buy off him. he says--- you aren't buying..... i tell him i appreciate that but i've been off it for a while.... maybe i shouldn't..... he says it's not like you'll be buying and besides i was thinking we could enjoy it together....
sold! sorry.... you anti-weeds.... you know... my shy guy has a good heart... but he's not my style... my x omg! lets paint a picture..
skinny syrian (yum) long blonde hair in ringlets .... big beard... baby looks like he's got on a lion mane. he's a drummer in a band Calea he's a graphic artist.... writer... paints..... does wicked art....dully art and he's totally amazing.
so... problem! if i see him saturday.. day after my b-day and before he goes to band practice i'm gonna end up cheating on my shy guy bf...... but now... it's friday night a week before my b-day and i'm supposed to pick up shy guy for a romantic weekend. you read right.. pick up.... boy don't have a car.... eh... meanwhile... lets say i don't get all screwed up in the head and get a good shag outta it.... (heartless hate me.... whatever- i gotta figure this out for me...)
but then.... whatever happens.... if i leave him now. tomorrow... before my b-day he'll think i chose weed over him... since that's what he said to me today... that he was afraid i'd chose weed over him... alright break up i guess.... but say... i don't have the stones to leave him... or i feel bad... so friday my b-day comes around. he's not overnighting it no way. saturday noonish my x is coming over and i'mma let what happens happen... i love that boy. if i cheat i cheat. i can tell or not tell. i'm sure giving the occasion... i will be able to better deal. hypotheticals are messy. and seriously you can't really predict in advance what you are going to do.
but now. i've gotta figure a way to make the bf shy guy
sorry i was thinking the same thing too......
not stay over friday night... and i know i know. if i really don't feel it with him i should just grow the balls (metaphorically) and say, hey ya know...... i'm not really into this... but until i do that i need to just figure out how not to make a big thing outta my b-day weekend...
can't say i have a real clue... lying isn't my style... although i guess that is where i'm leaning. maybe i'll get the nerve and say... saturday i'm seeing my x (sure i'll use his name then) idk. and let him sweat or get mad and just play it like " you trust me or what?" and either i pass the trust or i don't... whatever....
some like to say "all is fair in love and war......"
other stuff???? camera funtime! lets see what happens... might as well endulge in the voyeristic pleasure of self-splotation. .....
and the newest addition....
so yeah. a lot is going on.... <3 and if you read it and don't hate then... many many
to ya!<3 coin.