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l1vingdeadgurl

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Member Since 2008

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life as i know (and hate) it.

Oct 13, 2013
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I have heard from so many people, so many times, that eventually if you live an unhappy life you are driven to change it. I used to think that was true, but after 12 years of living with someone who lives his life in the deepest throes of misery, I realized you just adapt to it and accept it, rather than change it. Change requires a great effort and is scary at the best of times. When you are in a position of not a lot of choice; you just adapt to the undesirable and find undesirable ways to cope. I drink so much more than I ever did, I cry so much more and have chronic pain constantly (likely psychosomatic). Growing up in a controlling household makes it hard to see life in any other way. Then when you do see it and try to do something about it you are left stuck between that rock and hard place people always refer to. You stand up against it, only to be knocked back down because you really have no other option.

I look forward to weekends and even more so; long weekends. Then spending time in close quarters with the family makes me want to go back to work.

I'm still wondering what I'm thankful for this Thanksgiving.

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