l1vingdeadgurl

Long time no blog.

Life or something like it got in the way.....but I am feeling so amazingly beautiful and awesome and smitten with someone special. Its a new feeling from the typical passive-aggressive love I normally find. He is beautiful inside and out.


For him, I send this....

Trails
In cities you never visited I sensed your presence
In bungalow colonies and airport delicatessens

I caught sight of someone
who might have been you but I couldn't catch up

I rented apartments and left them vacant in hopes
you might appear, like a vision

In Utah a ridgeline seemed to be leading toward you
but I was wrong

I tried each highway, driving slowly
so as not to miss you if you'd pulled over to rest

I descended into coastal cities, often at down,
and sat in coffee shops waiting for you

In hotel rooms
i watched for the phone's blinking light

I tried to be precise, and maintain confidence,
repeating supportive phrases from my reading

attempting to stay calm, but often I fell to pieces
I encountered conscripts and justifiers like myself,

apparitions shooting their news into traffic
but nothing they told me, touched on you

I eavesdropped on conversations, listening
for the choked-down sobs of the grief stricken

up on the mesa, by a motel pool, I read a story aloud
a tale in which the author wrote eloquently

of the queerly resolute heroine's
quiet life in a cabin by the meadow

where the fall, still cordial to its summer
has began to streak the poplars faintly gold

Even then-- and I tried hard--
I couldn't picture you....