Ever since Simon passed, I've been finding myself writing him letters. Mostly apologetic nonsense, self loathing my specialty, but sometimes I just write about my day, like in the old days when I would relive every detail of my day to him. He would mostly laugh, sometimes roll his eyes but always make me feel heard. I don't really know why I write to him, it's not like he is going to respond, but I never got to tell him directly how much I loved him, and needed him. My saving grace was being close to his best friend and knowing he got the message anyway. Maybe part of it is guilt, for the passionate love/hate relationship we had, a toxic addiction to one another is what the others called it. So it's crazy I know, but I think somehow he might know I write to him and realize the significant impact he had on my life.
Do you ever write letters you'll never send?
Do you ever write letters you'll never send?
losty:
Yes wrote those letters and often had imaginary conversations too. After a few years, i didn't need to talk to air anymore.