The weekends are really tough for me. More time to let my mind think about him, what he's doing, if he is ok. I think I mostly wonder if he thinks about me at all. I suppose he doesn't, because he disappeared without so much as a word or an explanation, not even a trace of him is left. I usually spend as much time as I can on the weekends running, of course never reaching the destination, because I don't even know where it is. I managed to land a new job but don't start for a few weeks so that gives me more time to think. I often wonder if a type of hypnosis exists, like in the movie "eternal sunshine" where you can erase people from your memory.
I think mostly I wonder if this is normal, these feelings, this pit and sickness in my stomach. Losing two men I loved within 2 months is more than I can comfortably take.
On a happier note, I am doing pretty good in school "A's" on all my exams so far. The new job looks promising, but fuck I say that about almost everything. He used to call me the eternal optimist. Now he doesn't call at all and I am not really optimistic, just in denial one more shitty thing could happen.
So I've been away and have missed you. What have you all been up to?
I think mostly I wonder if this is normal, these feelings, this pit and sickness in my stomach. Losing two men I loved within 2 months is more than I can comfortably take.
On a happier note, I am doing pretty good in school "A's" on all my exams so far. The new job looks promising, but fuck I say that about almost everything. He used to call me the eternal optimist. Now he doesn't call at all and I am not really optimistic, just in denial one more shitty thing could happen.
So I've been away and have missed you. What have you all been up to?