l1vingdeadgurl

It's becoming increasingly difficult to find things to write about, especially since my mess make about as interesting as a bag of hammers. I do know one thing, life isn't easy, even for those of us who think it should be, or those of us who pray to a higher power. My feelings on God are mixed at best, I can't believe someone who loves us so much causes so much suffering, or allows it to happen. I have seen people in my life who I love very much, suffer heartache after heartache. It seems like it's not right.
My own life has been a challenge but I guess everyone has different versions of the same story.
I was disturbed to learn that the suicide rate among those brave men and women in the armed forces has increased significantly since 2001. Around the time the we invaded Iraq looking for weapons of mass destruction. I also read a story about the lack of post traumatic stress disorder assistance for public servants such as police officers and paramedics. It's sad because these people lay down their lives to protect ours and when they get I'll they are thrown to the wolves. Many of people who suffer from PTSD develop BPD (borderline personality disorder) after the fact.
It's sad.
The stress is causing me to encounter rapid altered states of mania and depression. The stress of being technically unemployed and wolves at the door is more than I have had to handle in a long time.

My question is "is this as good as it gets?"