This morning finds me up way too early, the puffiness of my once beautiful eyes has taken over and it looks like I have been punched in both eyes. Thank god for garnier eye roller. The days events yesterday came to a head last night where I cut and cut and cut something I havent done in welll at least 2 months.. So off to the psych ward I go.
Spend the night convincing them not to keep me, that my husband is at home and he will take care of me and make sure I dont do it again. Little do they know his constant hiding of my lorazapam causes me to act out like this. After explanations of how I should be distracting myself when I feel the NEED. Like go do some fucking yoga or something. Right. With 3 kids. Yeah that goes over well. I suppose I should have just go another tattoo, a more socially acceptable way to cause self harm.
Something is not working right with my meds I am on, they are making me emotional again and I dont want that. Life was much better when I was a robot. No feelings about anything. No one could hurt me with their words. Cause FUCK I didnt give a shit about anyone.
Good news is I started drawing again. I will go out and take some pictures today. I am in the mood for photography....
Sorry for the shitty crappy "not like me at all" blog. I have kept this stuff buried too long.
I do love you silly, just things are complicated on both ends of our earths.
Spend the night convincing them not to keep me, that my husband is at home and he will take care of me and make sure I dont do it again. Little do they know his constant hiding of my lorazapam causes me to act out like this. After explanations of how I should be distracting myself when I feel the NEED. Like go do some fucking yoga or something. Right. With 3 kids. Yeah that goes over well. I suppose I should have just go another tattoo, a more socially acceptable way to cause self harm.
Something is not working right with my meds I am on, they are making me emotional again and I dont want that. Life was much better when I was a robot. No feelings about anything. No one could hurt me with their words. Cause FUCK I didnt give a shit about anyone.
Good news is I started drawing again. I will go out and take some pictures today. I am in the mood for photography....
Sorry for the shitty crappy "not like me at all" blog. I have kept this stuff buried too long.
I do love you silly, just things are complicated on both ends of our earths.