l1vingdeadgurl

This morning finds me up way too early, the puffiness of my once beautiful eyes has taken over and it looks like I have been punched in both eyes. Thank god for garnier eye roller. The days events yesterday came to a head last night where I cut and cut and cut something I havent done in welll at least 2 months.. So off to the psych ward I go.
Spend the night convincing them not to keep me, that my husband is at home and he will take care of me and make sure I dont do it again. Little do they know his constant hiding of my lorazapam causes me to act out like this. After explanations of how I should be distracting myself when I feel the NEED. Like go do some fucking yoga or something. Right. With 3 kids. Yeah that goes over well. I suppose I should have just go another tattoo, a more socially acceptable way to cause self harm.
Something is not working right with my meds I am on, they are making me emotional again and I dont want that. Life was much better when I was a robot. No feelings about anything. No one could hurt me with their words. Cause FUCK I didnt give a shit about anyone.

Good news is I started drawing again. I will go out and take some pictures today. I am in the mood for photography....

Sorry for the shitty crappy "not like me at all" blog. I have kept this stuff buried too long.

I do love you silly, just things are complicated on both ends of our earths.