You've got your ball
you've got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Who's got their claws
in you my friend
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you
Living with a emotional illness or mental illnes whatever can be taxing on one's soul to say the least. You have your good days, and man those days you can be on the moon. It doesn't matter what anyone says, you are just perfect and nothing can bring you down. I have been having many of those days of happiness and clarity. Knowing what I want and where I am going.
Then their are days like today and yesterday where you don't even know what is reality anymore. You force the pathetic smile on your face and pray to crawl under the blankets and wake up in another time. A time where things were your choice. A time where you can have those things you are desperately fighting for. Days where feelings are clear; with no shades of grey. A place where it is ok to love, to want to love based on what you know, not what you don't know.
My friends keep telling me to stop communicating with people online. They think no good is coming out of it. Maybe they are right but there are some amazing people I have met online. Of course for every good one there is 12 jerks, it comes with the territory.
So another life changing event, another emotional breakdown, another heartache and even more pain.
This is a day....this is my day........this is your day. Is it wrong to go to bed at night and pray you will wake up in a different life? I am not even religious technically. I had/have dreams that need to be fulfilled in order for me to move on. A road trip is in the works. I have spent the last 12 years making sure others needs were met and never ever thought of my own. This is what perplexes me. I live with guilt every day for all the coulda shoulda woulda's.
you've got your chain
Tied to me tight tie me up again
Who's got their claws
in you my friend
Into your heart I'll beat again
Sweet like candy to my soul
Sweet you rock
and sweet you roll
Lost for you I'm so lost for you
Living with a emotional illness or mental illnes whatever can be taxing on one's soul to say the least. You have your good days, and man those days you can be on the moon. It doesn't matter what anyone says, you are just perfect and nothing can bring you down. I have been having many of those days of happiness and clarity. Knowing what I want and where I am going.
Then their are days like today and yesterday where you don't even know what is reality anymore. You force the pathetic smile on your face and pray to crawl under the blankets and wake up in another time. A time where things were your choice. A time where you can have those things you are desperately fighting for. Days where feelings are clear; with no shades of grey. A place where it is ok to love, to want to love based on what you know, not what you don't know.
My friends keep telling me to stop communicating with people online. They think no good is coming out of it. Maybe they are right but there are some amazing people I have met online. Of course for every good one there is 12 jerks, it comes with the territory.
So another life changing event, another emotional breakdown, another heartache and even more pain.
This is a day....this is my day........this is your day. Is it wrong to go to bed at night and pray you will wake up in a different life? I am not even religious technically. I had/have dreams that need to be fulfilled in order for me to move on. A road trip is in the works. I have spent the last 12 years making sure others needs were met and never ever thought of my own. This is what perplexes me. I live with guilt every day for all the coulda shoulda woulda's.
Desperation is the raw material of drastic change. Only those who can leave behind everything they have ever believed in can hope to escape.
William S. Burroughs
I know this was a little more depressing than my normal happy go lucky blog crap. I am in need of expressing myself lately.
What's your favorite quote?
VIEW 6 of 6 COMMENTS
William S. Burroughs
and my dear...... for a laugh try[shitmydadsays.com for gems like :"You look just like Stephen Hawking...Relax, I meant like a non-paralyzed version of him. Feel better?... Fine. Forget I said it."
1:36 PM Nov 9th, 2009 from web