I feel like I have been away forever, even though its only been two days. I have had some major mental health issues and really needed to see the psychiatrist to get this sorted out. This has brought on some very serious realizations.
If I take the medication I may not be me- not bubbly and happy- just a shell. Mind you I also wont be an angry suicidal bitch.
Will I be stigmatized for being bi-polar? When all this came about last year, and I had a massive depressive episode, I cried for days at just the thought of being bi-polar. Now I have accepted it. I have had two suicide attempts in about a week. The depressive episodes are really bad, and the manic episodes are not much better. During my manic episodes, I have no self control; I spend uncontrollably without regret, sleep around, engage in reckless behaviour such as driving too fast, stealing, taking too many drugs and alcohol. I have cut myself numerous times and scarred my legs and arms. During mania I don't give a shit who loves me, if I was do die or anything.. its all about doing what I want to right NOW. Compulsiveness the doctor called it.
I haven't really felt the depressive episodes because the Paxil helps with the depression and anxiety. So they have concocted a 4 med cocktail to take the edge of all these things.
My question for today is..
would you still feel the same about someone if you found out they were bi-polar? Would you stigmatize them into what you believe being bi-polar is?
If I take the medication I may not be me- not bubbly and happy- just a shell. Mind you I also wont be an angry suicidal bitch.
Will I be stigmatized for being bi-polar? When all this came about last year, and I had a massive depressive episode, I cried for days at just the thought of being bi-polar. Now I have accepted it. I have had two suicide attempts in about a week. The depressive episodes are really bad, and the manic episodes are not much better. During my manic episodes, I have no self control; I spend uncontrollably without regret, sleep around, engage in reckless behaviour such as driving too fast, stealing, taking too many drugs and alcohol. I have cut myself numerous times and scarred my legs and arms. During mania I don't give a shit who loves me, if I was do die or anything.. its all about doing what I want to right NOW. Compulsiveness the doctor called it.
I haven't really felt the depressive episodes because the Paxil helps with the depression and anxiety. So they have concocted a 4 med cocktail to take the edge of all these things.
My question for today is..
would you still feel the same about someone if you found out they were bi-polar? Would you stigmatize them into what you believe being bi-polar is?
Probably. There are a lot of judgmental assholes out there.
Would you still feel the same about someone if you found out they were bi-polar?
I would. But I honestly don't know if I'm typical. I understand the value of meds. As much as I might not like the idea of having to take meds to balance my brain, the reality is that sometimes brains are unbalanced, you know?
Would you stigmatize them into what you believe being bi-polar is?
Nope. See above.
But again, I *know* that meds can help. They really, really can.