Friday Jul 07, 2006

0
Ok so here is the situation...i talked to my financial advisor yesterday and she said even with the pell grant and the staford loan that i would still need to get a cosigner to get a sallie mae creative loan...a KELP i think she called it...so that would mean that i would have to ask my dad to cosign with me...and i talked to him last night...after i worked my nerves up at work so bad that i threw up twice and my boss sent me home early...well i basically just wanted to know if it was just an option with him or if i just needed to call the school and tell them to forget about me...seems im saying that a lot these days....well ill boil it down seeing as how everythime i talk to him he wants to bring up every fucking thing i ever failed at in my life to me....he said that if the loan was 50,000 he wasnt going to do it...but in my father talk that means 5,000 and lower he will...anything above im shit out of luck...so that pretty much means that im not moving to dallas and that i am pretty much stuck in this shithole town till i die...i feel like i should just be 90 yrs old and waiting to die...i have the anti midas touch...everything i touch turns to shit...i never wanted him to be invovled with this in the first place because i knew once he was that i would never hear the end of it....i will still go through the end of the process but i know its futile...i just dont want that regret as well..im tired of regrets...so dont worry tejas you have been saved from the cluster fuck that is me...i dont think i will every pick up a pencil ever again after this...i read some of my old journals the other day and i came to the realization that i am a loser...yes i know this sounds like self pity and that im whining but its not...its me just becomeing aware of the truth...jesus what was the point of changing myself to be a better man if everything i touch still turns to shit..

my marriage...my fault
my dreams...thats just it, there dreams, nothing more
my art....laughable
me.......pathetic


VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
allycat_13:
Nah man, I think Texas would be a whole lot more fun with you in it. You make me laugh and you like a lot of the same shit as me. Come on now, we're both Star Wars geeks. wink And zombie freaks at that! biggrin
You're not a loser, quit kidding yourself about that please. I'm glad you posted in DFW. Without doing that I wouldn't have seen your stanky butt on SG in the first place so bravo Dear Sir. *Claps*
I hope you don't put your pencil down. I would like to see more stuff actually. smile
deadofwinter:
I know I am the last person you want advice from and forgive my bluntness, but you are not a loser.... Not unless thats what you resolve yourself to be. You, just like me have been thtough a hell of a lot more shit than most people ever have and somehow have managed to struggle on. You have a lot more talent than you give yourself credit for. And although you are making a late start in trying to get that talent seen, the only way it will not happen is if you give up. Look into other financial options until they are all exhausted. Look into other schools. I did the campus tour of place called Full Sail in Orlando Florida and it was fabulous! At the time they had programs that could not be beat by any other school. Their website is http://www.fullsail.com. Again I know im the last person to take advice from but swallow your pride and take a look at it. There are also books that give listings of programs of all kinds that help people get money to go to school. I can get you some of those titles or websites from work if you would like. Its p to you man...
Either way, I hope everything works out in the end and you get to go to school. I think if you dont give up on it, you will eventually make it into a school and will find your calling...
Steve

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