kyshak

well i thought everything was going well with the financial aid stuff....but i got the dreaded call from the advisor and i had to change the marital status to separated....jesus christ everything was going so well...i know i jinx myself by thinking everything was going as planned...my advisor told me not to freak out, but im sorry, IM FREAKING THE FUCK OUT.....its looking like i am going to HAVE to get a loan which means that i need a co-signer...which means that would mean asking my dad...which means i really dont think he will do it...which means i think im fucked...this is not helping my nerves right now...i actually ate something last night....but it came back up after i got off the phone with my advisor...its funny but it seems she is going through a divorce as well...WTF is this the year everybody breaks up?!...seems like everywhere i turn everybody is either breaking up or getting divorced....my whole motivation and drive and my nerves are on a tiny little thread right now and its threating to break....it seems the more i work the more shit that comes up that i have to pay...fuck man...if getting into school doesnt kill me....sigh....and i was in such good spirits today too...guess i can throw that out the window....i have have bad feeling about all this financial aid business....i feel the old me creeping back into my head...the one that doesnt care anymore and i feel him doing his masonary work to the walls that i tried so hard to break down....FFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!!!!


well im off to go work both jobs and try not to have a fucking break down....