kylepus

Here I am on the ride over.


Once we got to Cairns we had about 5hrs until we had to fly out to Guam so we caught a cab over to the downtown tourist area and ate at this place called the Raw Prawn. We had eaten there on the way out to Australia and it was so good we had to eat there again. On the way to Australia Noir had crocodile, emu, kangaroo, and camel. Noir and Sin had drank near a full bottle of wine just to themselves and were getting pretty drunk when Noir said "I have camel stuck in my molar". It's quite possible that those words had never been spoken in that sentence before ever in the history of man. Anyway, I'm getting sidetracked here. That was on the way from America to Australia, these pictures are from the trip back to America.

While we were there, beppo got a plate of prawns (that's shrimp to us americans. They don't know what shrimp is in Australia.) Before beppo could eat them all they saw me and started to gang up on me!


I didn't know what to do! I didn't have anything to defend myself with. All my arsenal of weaponry was packed away in the luggage.


We had a big ol' fight. Luckily there was only 6 of them so I was able to hold them off with my 8 tentacles. Here they got a picture of me layin down some smack.


After that scrumptious dinner we headed off to the airport to wait for our flight. Here's Noir trying on the most ridiculous glasses ever made.




Here I am trying on some $400 glasses.

Everyone thought it was too adorable and would giggle like crazy as they walked by.


Once we got into Guam and went through all the American security BS beppo and Noir just wanted to sleep. Not me! I was all rested up from the flight and ready to go! But beppo called up the Days Inn (`cause "it's $40! ") and they came to pick us up and we slept there for the night. From Cairns onward we were flying standby and we had no idea if we were going to be catching any flights at all. It's kindo scary flying like that because if there's some convention or something at the city you're flying out of you can be stuck somewhere for days, sometimes weeks. The next day we got "bumped" and had to stay in Guam for another day. Oh no! Not Guam! Anything but that! Seriously, if you're gonna be stuck somewhere, Guam is a really friggin nice place to be stuck. Especially if you're an octopus like me who needs moisture because it's really humid in Guam. We stayed at a nicer hotel the second night we were there. It was jam pack full of Japanese people.

Here's the view from our room.


It was really neat. The water from the shore all the way out to that island was between 3-5 feet (1-2m) deep. Noir and beppo walked on the sand most of the way there. Well, until Noir got her foot cut on some coral. That part sucked. But they put me and Noirs cell phone in double wrapped plastic baggies and toted me on out there too. I've got some pictures on Noirs phone of me out there. I'll update this when I can with those.


The next day we went out shopping. Here I am riding the bus over.


Noir, She's cool and sexy!


The tepanaki restaurant we ate at that night was utterly amazing. It wasn't really like the tepan places in America. In America at the tepan places the chefs always put on a show with fire n smoke and make jokes and basically jump around doing stupid pet tricks. This chef wasn't havin' none of that. I'd imagine if you'd have asked him to he'd have cut my tentacles off and sauteed them. And I need those to fend off attacking shrimps! So no jumpin' around doing backflips for him. But what he did do was make some of the best damn food we'd ever tasted. It was premium top notch stuff.

Here I'm kickin it on my own lil platform. It was cool cause I could see out the window real easy. The trains going from Narita airport out to downtown Tokyo are pretty nice. They go at like 70mph er something so they're pretty quick and they're really comfortable inside. Not too dissimilar from a airplane.


One thing is for sure. Tokyo is big. Very big. Before we had left to go there beppo and Noir were talkin' about how they wanted to go to the downtown area with all the lights like what you see on the movies. beppo was going on about the James Bond movies and Noir was going on about some dinasour from Lost In Translation. A few miles out from the airport beppo was like "oh hey look there it is. We're passing it!" then seconds later "Oh wait there... oh wow." He was a lil stunned once he realized that it's all like that. Seriously, a massive part of that island is like the most densely packed downtown areas of other places but it goes on for like a hundred miles! The place is enormous. I mean, Tokyo station itself is about the size of a small to medium sized town. It took us what had to be a half hour to walk from the gate where we got off the train to the outside area. We were walking for what seemed like forever.

Once we got outside we saw a really nice hotel across the street and decided to stay there. This place was easily the nicest hotel that any of us had ever stayed in before. We each got our own set of pajamas (except for me. they didn't have any in my size ) Heck, the wine bottle opener cost more than most hotel stays that we'd stayed at in the past. The toilets were amazing. They were these neat computerized toilet seats that were heated. They had a digital display and you could adjust it up n down to whatever temperature you wanted. they had a bidet, butt shower, and there was this neat button that you could push and it'd make a fake flush sound to cover up any noises you might make.

Later the next day we went out to look around and see tokyo and saw that everywhere had those seats! It was amazing. Even in the malls. I tell ya, you couldn't have anything like that in public places like that here in America. If someone didn't carve "6M 4-LYFE!" into it with a knife, someone else would unbolt the fucker and steal it entirely.

Inside the Marunouchi hotel was The ChatNoir Cafe & Bar. How awesome is that?


For some reason there were Alice In Wonderland displays all over the place. With everything being so strange in Tokyo, I thought it was quite fitting. Here I am next to the drink me bottle.




After we'd gotten all settled in no one could sleep being so excited to be in Tokyo so we decided to find a 24hr sushi bar. After a few minutes of the girl at the front desk looking up 24hr sushi bar on the internet she wrote out some shoddy directions and gave us this half ass map and we were on our way.

Since beppo and Noir had no idea where anything was and with me being the world traveler that I am, they put me in charge of finding the way around. Here I am trying to make heads & tails of the bus map.




This is me and Noir posing with a really awesome girl. This chick was so rad. We ended up getting off on god knows what stop and after walking around in the tunnels we walked up the stairs to the surface and looked around. Non of us had the slightest clue where the hell we were. After about 30 seconds of looking around 17 different types of lost, this girl came up walking kindo quickly and (in a super thick Japanese accent (but in English none the less)) asks "Are you guys lost?". When that happened all I had running through my head was "Ok, picture this. A pair of Japanese tourists get off of the wrong bus stop in East L.A. hoping to go to Disneyland, and a pretty young Latina girl comes up to them and speaks to them in Japanese asking them if they're lost. What happens next?"

But Noir wasn't scared. She said "Yes we have no idea where we are and we're trying to go here" and this girl looked at the shoddy map and called the place up on her phone telling the guys at the sushi bar where we were. The next half hour was spent with us walking down all types of various streets (some that looked a lil iffy to be heading down).

Haha it was hilarious, about two streets into the hike beppo whispers to me "Oh this is great, Kyle. We're placing all our hopes into the navigational skills of a Japanese girl. `Cause I mean if there's one thing asian women are good at, it's driving and finding their way around." I laughed for a minute and then punched him in the balls. I said "hey this chicks goin WAY out of her way to lead us around just because we're fuckin' lost. And she was walkin' pretty fast when she met us. She probably has somewhere that she has to go".

Fast forward what seemed like an eternity of us walking down endless streets and we finally got to the 24hr sushi bar. What was funny about this is that at least a half hour was spent walking down street after street and when we got there we were like two blocks from where we started from (the whole time with this girl going on and on in Japanese with the sushi bar people talking out what seemed to be the Japanese version of War And Peace).

Once we found it the girl was like "ok bye! Thanks!" And we're like "wait what? thanks? Um, thank YOU! you want to get some sushi?" "No, No, I late!" and SHOOM off she went. Never telling us who she was or anything.

Who the hell does that? Sees some completely random strangers and, even when you have somewhere that you have to be, stops and spends god knows how long helping them out. Helping them find their way to a 24hr sushi bar at 3am. These people are weird. It's no wonder that so many Japanese look at westerners as uncivilized savages. Once you see how refined and civilized the Japanese are, it's pretty difficult to argue. I mean had that situation been reversed, rest assured the outcome would have been very different.


In tokyo you can buy anything in a vending machine. Here Noir and I buy some green tea.


I let Noir put the money in.


But she sucked so I had to do it.


Mmmmm. Tea.