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kyleomen

Philadelphia

Member Since 2005

Followers 94 Following 123

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Sunday Jan 08, 2006

Jan 8, 2006
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Hmmm, Im all squeaky clean. There are three ways to wake up in this world. One is next to someone you care for. Two is with a steaming cup of coffee. And three is with a NICE HOT shower.

Does anyone else wonder how their poop smells? I do. I do.

I love to go to work early in the morning and then get home with the entire day ahead of me. Very pleasing.

Reading is filled to the brim with bums that jiggle the heads.

Sheetz! Sheetz has the best food period. Do not argue.

To the woman I saved (anytime dear):

BESTSURVEYEVER.

1. As *nsync would say, God must have spent a little more time on you. What, exactly, did God spend more time on?

There is no god. But I believe that DNA sequencing spent a little more time on Visha. I have the hots for that one.

2. If you had to start your own war against something, what would it be and why? Also, what would the protestors do in protest, to show they think your war is evil?

I would declare war on squirrels. Yeah, sure, they look innocent enough but those bastards are scheming something terrible and I want a preemptive strike. Everyone would protest because no one knows what I know. Theyll protect the fuckers with sit-ins and tree preservation campaigns. I dont care. Mercy is for the weak.

3. In the movie of your life, who would play you and who would play your lover?

Id have to say that Edward Norton could do me justice. It would take an actor of his caliber to capture the essences of Kyle. Annnnnnd, he would co-star with Linda Hardy. Gotta have blue hair, and blue nipples.

4. What flavor of diet coke do you next want?

Poop flavored. For all those fecophiliacs out there.

5. Insert picture of what you think is the best.hair.ever.



6. If girls had penises and boys had vaginas, who would you date/fuck?

I would go about my shit the same way except I would get fucked. Ive always wondered how that was. Id masturbate a lot more, thats for damn sure.

7. Have you ever farted in public? if so, what were the circumstances?

Haha, better out than in I always say. I dont care who smells it. Everyone farts. In factAhhh, thats better.

8. Tell one crazy I cant believe how drunk I was story.

It was up in the mountains. What else is there to do but ride quads and drink? It was one of those long days where in you start drinking around noon and dont stop until midnight. I remember walking this girl back to her tent and then I blacked out. The next morning I was wearing her clothes, she was wearing mine and we had hand marks all over our bodies.

9. Ideal Christmas stocking?

A puppy, chocolate, handgun, bullets, chocolate.

10. Who is Britney Spears soul mate?

The bottom of a bottle of JD.

11. What is the one book you think everyone should read?

EveryonePoops.


12. At your heaviest, how much did you weigh? Liar.

No lie, 250 pounds.

13. Ever puked and run? Tell us your story, then join our club.

Fuck yea. I was in Italy and my boy Alex and I were walking home from a bar. I stopped, looked at him, he knew. I turned to a parked car and let loose on the windshield. Then I believe we, how you say, booked.

14. Tell one too tired to finish masturbating story, then join our club.

I sometimes get very horny before I go to sleep and I think that giving a good jerk will put me out. I underestimate how much time it takes me to get off without porn. Soooo, one night I began to do my thing and before I knew it my mother walks in to wake me, dick in hand.

15. Write down three true facts, and one lie. Don't tell us which one is the lie.

There are 34 SGs in my room right now (I dont mean on my computer).
I have never been in love.
I have a cage full of babies.
Ive met Captain Picard.

16. Insert your favorite cute/cuddly picture (just to make us smile).



17. If you cooked a dinner for someone you were head over heels in love with, what would you cook?

Since I know how to cook NOTHING I suppose I would learn how to make a delicious sushi platter complete with an authentic Japanese atmosphere and some sake. And we can throw in a random hot tub.

18. If you had to write something on your forehead and walk around with it all day, what would it be?

I eat boogers!

19. What is your favorite piece of art, and would you please post a picture of it below?



20. Would you have sex with Xena, Warrior Princess? What would it be like? Also, if you said no, are you crazy? What are your reasons for declining?

Of course I would. We would get drunk off some grog and then I would let her dominate me to the extreme. She would hold me after we were done.

21. Whats your favorite animal? show us.



22. If you were a color, what color would you be? Why?

I would be transparent like the jelly fish of the deep.
I would have cool florescent light emitters too!

23. What turns you on? If it invovles a ball gag, please describe.

I woman who isnt afraid to fight back in bed. If she gives up to easily then I loose all interest. I want a girl who will fight with every ounce of strength.

24. On a scale of 1 to 10, how dumb is it to decline the above question by answering 'that's too personal' ?

20 Kagillion.

25. Why are ball gags sexy?

Because sadism is sexy.

26. Do you have any personal opinions on ice trays?

I like a good fill. The kind of fill where there was just enough water to create a clean break through out the tray. I hate those half-assed jobs where some asshole didnt take the time to fill it all the way.

27. What's the most painful thing you've ever had done to you/done to another person during sex?

I once dug my nails in to deep while fucking to hard. Blood and such.

28. If you had to be stranded for the rest of your life on a desert island and pick one person to go with you, would you pick someone you could really talk to or someone who gave you the best sex of your life? If you say both, youre a fucking whore.

I know Im a fucking whore. So what! Deal with it. But if I had to choose Id say a good fuck.

29. What is the biggest insult someone could tell you?

He/she could say that I wasnt a passionate person.

30. If you were/are a big dyke, would you wear the strap on or would your partner

My partner.

Fuck, I shall tagDaniofthedead, Sid, Tadzi, Iggy annnd, Fierhauk
VIEW 17 of 17 COMMENTS
campbell:
well come on over to detroit and I'll hook you up der.
plus youll get to see the murder mitten.
Jan 11, 2006
mooncalf2:
I just wanted to tell you that your friggin hot!!

How are you today??
Jan 11, 2006

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