kyki

I am kyki. I like that the blog tells me this. Sometimes I forget. Yes yes yes. Surgery. I hate not remembering things but in this case I think it's ok. My stomach hurts really bad from the pills i'm taking (like the antibiotics and crap) but that's really the only thing, other than the horrible horrible pain every time I pee, that's going on. I'll be fine though. I feel quite good otherwise eh? Why did I phrase that as a question? I look like I've lost a lot of weight but I weighed myself and it said I was 200 pounds. I fucking hate my mom's scale. I swear to god one time it said my dad was 198 and I was 250. First of all he's at least 5'11 and there's no fucking way I way more than him. Also I'm not obese. I'm overweight but definitly not obese and if I were really 250 at 5'6 I think I would notice. I feel good about myself somewhat even though that scale seems to want me to hate myself but it's just a number. Who gives a shit! I can't do sit ups for a while because of the internal bleeding it might cause. God I'm on a wierd rant here.

OK. On another subject. I love Quinn's mom (of course I love Quinn she is one of my favorite people in the world but I have to just say...) Quinn's mom is awesome. She dropped off some lental soup stuff that I'm sure is just awesome. I mean, not that it was like miles out of her way but how kind of her to actually just drop something off for me. She is a sweetheart. I have this weird thing where I feel guilty when people are nice to me or do nice things for me. I'm trying not to do that because in a way it seems for disrespectful to not accept a gift of kindness. It would make more sense to not accept if like, someone were giving you their last kidney just because they were too nice or something. I should just appreciate without guilt. Good fucking god. Have I gone all sappy today or what?

Anyshit, trying to feel happy is a full time job but apparently I should start writing sermons or something because I have just gone to mush right now. Not that any of that's bad but I just feel like the world is a fuzzy bunny and I want to coddle everyone. OK. I'm going to lay down for a bit. Hearts and bunnies and sunshine and rainbows to all!!!!