I have not done anything this week. No earthly idea why I feel like a shit load of bricks are on my shoulders. Work is going great but within the walls of my personal life- crap seems to be closing in on me. I hate this 'unable' feeling. There is this guy- this freaking amazing guy- and I know that I am having the stupid feelings I hate that my girlfriends tell me they are experiencing when they are in love... but, me in love? Pshaw. No way. Or, maybe so...
I have this theory about second guessing yourself- usually your first gut instict is the one you should go with... but, my gut instinct was not what I wanted it to be... due to the fact that this guy is a loser. EXTREME loser. Outside of the acquisitive scrub-ish things I see everyday... he is beautiful. Funny, super intelligent, comical, lovely... God, so gorgeous. Yet, he has not an ounce of selflessness. It sucks. Here I've got this incredible man that I enjoy being around... but, makes me feel so inadequate. I know I'm not a priority... I feel more like a necessity. And the funny thing is that I am so much stronger than what I feel like. I am not weak- so why am I holding on to something that isn't making me jovial?
I precede him by far with the important things (very smug, but vastly true)... I am responsible, I take care of myself, on my own... I make more money... I am the utmost benevolent person... along with many other notable characteristics, although I seem to be having trouble jotting down.
But, see... these things don't matter to me... I just want to be with this guy. That's it. And I want love and respect back. Not too much to ask for right? TexaSGuy, this doesn't mean that you might not still be the right man I'm looking for
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Anyways... I am in dire need of advice.. help me out...
I have this theory about second guessing yourself- usually your first gut instict is the one you should go with... but, my gut instinct was not what I wanted it to be... due to the fact that this guy is a loser. EXTREME loser. Outside of the acquisitive scrub-ish things I see everyday... he is beautiful. Funny, super intelligent, comical, lovely... God, so gorgeous. Yet, he has not an ounce of selflessness. It sucks. Here I've got this incredible man that I enjoy being around... but, makes me feel so inadequate. I know I'm not a priority... I feel more like a necessity. And the funny thing is that I am so much stronger than what I feel like. I am not weak- so why am I holding on to something that isn't making me jovial?
I precede him by far with the important things (very smug, but vastly true)... I am responsible, I take care of myself, on my own... I make more money... I am the utmost benevolent person... along with many other notable characteristics, although I seem to be having trouble jotting down.
But, see... these things don't matter to me... I just want to be with this guy. That's it. And I want love and respect back. Not too much to ask for right? TexaSGuy, this doesn't mean that you might not still be the right man I'm looking for
.
Anyways... I am in dire need of advice.. help me out...
3011 N Saint Marys St, San Antonio, TX
That's the address of the place. I kept hearing about it, and then yesterday I was talking to a very good friend who teachs at the college where I take a few classes and she said it was an awesome little wine bar/coffee house. Figure it's better then The Landing on account of the suddenly cold weather.
Looking forward to tonight. Should probably get about doing some work so I'm not late, huh?
I have the largest propensity for mean bitchy girls, the ones who like to say hello by ignoring you...sounds like you just need to re-evaulate what you really want and not what your oddly attracted to....good luck-
-I'm can't say it enough,.....Luna Jazz