I've been fucking up in a big way with my girlfriend. I haven't been cheating or anything like that, but I have been a major asshole. A lot of times I'm doing it without even realizing it, which I think only makes it worse. She deserves better than that, and I swear I have been trying and am going to do my best to keep from doing things that hurt her. I've got to, because the thought of losing her kills me. I've been up all night because of this, and I don't think I'll be sleeping any time soon.
Anyway, to try and make up for it (and I know nothing will do that completely except a complete turn around by me) I decided to at least try and give her the best good morning she's ever had from me. So, I made 2:30 am trip to the local WallyWorld, bought some roses, and a blank card. I made a trail of pink and yellow rose petals from her bedroom door to the living room. There I made the shape of a heart out of red rose petals. Inside I placed the card, which instructs her to pick up my iPod and listen to the song I have paused and to check her messages here on SG. I also placed three roses in a little vase next to the heart.
Hopefully, hopefully, I'll have at least made the start of her day a little better and I can cook her breakfast.
I really have some work to do on myself. I have to change. If it was something intrinsic to myself I wouldn't even try, but it is something I can change for the better. A lot of my life I've never had reason to worry about anyone else's feelings. Now I stand to lose someone that means more to me than anyone else on the face of this earth. I can't not change. I hope she'll give me the chance, and that she'll be patient while I try to make this change for her.
Anyway, to try and make up for it (and I know nothing will do that completely except a complete turn around by me) I decided to at least try and give her the best good morning she's ever had from me. So, I made 2:30 am trip to the local WallyWorld, bought some roses, and a blank card. I made a trail of pink and yellow rose petals from her bedroom door to the living room. There I made the shape of a heart out of red rose petals. Inside I placed the card, which instructs her to pick up my iPod and listen to the song I have paused and to check her messages here on SG. I also placed three roses in a little vase next to the heart.
Hopefully, hopefully, I'll have at least made the start of her day a little better and I can cook her breakfast.
I really have some work to do on myself. I have to change. If it was something intrinsic to myself I wouldn't even try, but it is something I can change for the better. A lot of my life I've never had reason to worry about anyone else's feelings. Now I stand to lose someone that means more to me than anyone else on the face of this earth. I can't not change. I hope she'll give me the chance, and that she'll be patient while I try to make this change for her.