Okay, so something happened to me last night that hasn't in a long time. I didn't really realize what was going on until this morning, but now that I do I'm kind of pissed. See, I used to live alone and spend most of my time alone...before Cheryl and I got together. I was always alone. Sometimes late at night when it was really quiet I'd get so lonely and scared because I felt like I was the only person on the planet. I couldn't sleep because I'd just dwell on that loneliness. The only thing that ever really helped was reading until I was exhausted and more caught up in the book than my own life.
Anyway, last night after someone awesome lovin' with Cheryl, while she was in the bathroom and I was lying there in bed ALONE and it happened. I started feeling that way again. It was nothing anyone had done, just sitting there alone I came back to that feeling for some reason.
Cheryl came back and I couldn't shake that feeling. I told her about it as best I could, but I think I just left her worried and thinking it was her fault. It wasn't. It wasn't anyone's fault. I needed to read, so she said she'd just leave me alone. That was the last thing I wanted. I told her she could stay in bed and I'd get up, but she told me the light wouldn't bother her so I stayed in bed to read.
I had everything I needed then. Cheryl right there beside me letting me know I wasn't alone and a book to distract me from all the worried, frightened thoughts. It's crazy, but having her there made me feel safe if only because I had someone to protect and didn't worry about myself anymore. I never worry about myself when she's there for me to look after. She probably hates that because she's so independant, but oh well.
I slept in late thing morning and only got to see her a minute before she went to work. I wanted to tell her all this, but I figured she could read it here. I wish I'd had more time with her this morning. I felt bad when I hugged her goodbye and she walked away. I didn't want her to go.
That's life though. Hopefully I'll see her tonight before I got to work.
Anyway, last night after someone awesome lovin' with Cheryl, while she was in the bathroom and I was lying there in bed ALONE and it happened. I started feeling that way again. It was nothing anyone had done, just sitting there alone I came back to that feeling for some reason.
Cheryl came back and I couldn't shake that feeling. I told her about it as best I could, but I think I just left her worried and thinking it was her fault. It wasn't. It wasn't anyone's fault. I needed to read, so she said she'd just leave me alone. That was the last thing I wanted. I told her she could stay in bed and I'd get up, but she told me the light wouldn't bother her so I stayed in bed to read.
I had everything I needed then. Cheryl right there beside me letting me know I wasn't alone and a book to distract me from all the worried, frightened thoughts. It's crazy, but having her there made me feel safe if only because I had someone to protect and didn't worry about myself anymore. I never worry about myself when she's there for me to look after. She probably hates that because she's so independant, but oh well.
I slept in late thing morning and only got to see her a minute before she went to work. I wanted to tell her all this, but I figured she could read it here. I wish I'd had more time with her this morning. I felt bad when I hugged her goodbye and she walked away. I didn't want her to go.
That's life though. Hopefully I'll see her tonight before I got to work.
sweetness07:
I LOVE YOU 
