kushielsscion

It sucks that one bad thing will fuck up ten good things. That's life, I guess. I'm not happy about it. Who would be? But I am learning that all I can do is shut up and deal with it. Feeling sorry for myself never has, and never will, get me anywhere. I've made mistakes, and I'm going to pay for them.

Sometimes I just get carried away with my own worries and doubts. It all comes down to my fear of losing what I have, being afraid that those I care about are going to walk away. It's hard for me to realize they have those same fears too. I tend to expect the worst from people. I'm really trying to change that, especially considering that...
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I don't feel so good right now, for a lot of reasons.

I've been fucking up in a big way with my girlfriend. I haven't been cheating or anything like that, but I have been a major asshole. A lot of times I'm doing it without even realizing it, which I think only makes it worse. She deserves better than that, and I swear I have been trying and am going to do my best to keep...
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Okay, so something happened to me last night that hasn't in a long time. I didn't really realize what was going on until this morning, but now that I do I'm kind of pissed. See, I used to live alone and spend most of my time alone...before Cheryl and I got together. I was always alone. Sometimes late at night when it was really quiet...
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I hate running, but I just did a mile and a half in under 15 minutes. It may not seem that great of an achievement, but for me it is. I'm proud of myself right now. I know I can pass all of the police officer/deputy sheriff physical test now. On step closer to walking away from WalHell forever.

Anyway, now I am watching Soylent...
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I hate work. I hate (most of) my family. It's almost sad to see the people running this billion dollar company I work for running it into the ground, but I guess pay back is a bitch. It is trully sad that lazy ass petulant motherfuckers won't cooperate so you can get a will probated and see that a person's final wishes are carried out....
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I have a blister on my toe. In two years of working at WalMart, I've never had a blister anywhere. It hurt every time I took a step and I took a lot of steps last night. Sucked, big time.

Anyway, I am day after day realizing how inept and inexperienced I am when it comes to relationships. My girlfriend doesn't have this same problem,...
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Fun, fun, I just wanted to have. Heat, humidity, and misunderstanding inside jokes kind of ruined it all for me though.

Why do I feel like an asshole when I'm being honest and upfront with someone about something?

I've been gone, for...oh...a day or two while I was waited to get my new cable internet up and running. Cheryl and I moved into an apartment together this weekend. So far it's been nice. There is still a lot of unpacking to do (for me, anyway) and I've still got to get some stuff from my old place before the end of the month....
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My grandfather, the only person who was a real father to me, died yesterday afternoon. I'm kind of lost right now. I don't really know what to do, but it's up to me to do it.