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kus

Los Angeles

Member Since 2009

Followers 26 Following 24

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Thursday Nov 24, 2011

Nov 23, 2011
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i try my best to just sleep until monday. but i need weed to do that, and i am running oooout.

-----
8:29am

I really don't get it. I am feeling a little better. But I am really very out of it.

I went biking and hiking and felt great, then my job never called me and I always get depressed when I have to wait for something and I have no idea when it is coming.

Especially when I'm told one thing and it turns out to be totally wrong.

It's Thursday, my Aunt cooks really good, this is a rare Thanksgiving. I went last year, wow. The only time I ever get good Thanksgiving food is from my friends family.

I don't understand why my family was always the only ones who did everything wrong, or poorly.

Oh well, it sucks to have to be from that type of family. Because it makes me feel fairly worthless.

But I hope one day I can be happy, but I'm sure I never will be because I will always regret my life and wonder why I could not just be a normal person.

I'll always think "Why couldnt I have just done everything differently." and I will always think about all of the women I never got to meet. All the women I did meet but never talked to. All the women I did talk to but never talked to again because I didn't know any better. All the women I did talk to again somehow but didn't know what to do at that point either. All the women I somehow found someplace public to go to but didn't know what I was doing since I can't really think of any times that this occured.

My life's been one big "shoulda woulda coulda" and I'm 34 years old. the best years of my life are behind me, although in reality my life should get better.

i'm beginning to learn to accept things and just be happy that maybe one day i might overcome the things that have made me so crazy all these years.

i never realized why i could never just have female friends. why are people so shallow? i dont mind the sex, but just because im shy and dont know how to be all Mr Confident, that i cant be their friend.

oh well, emo p0wer!

---

i drew this because i was bored. its an anarchist penguin

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