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kus

Los Angeles

Member Since 2009

Followers 26 Following 24

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Saturday Nov 12, 2011

Nov 12, 2011
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I spend a lot of time in chat. A lot of times I dont say anything. Sometimes I do. That is a pretty good summary of my activities.

I have been chatting since I was 13 years old, on a hand me down Commodore 64 my brother didnt need because he got a brand spankin new Apple IIe or something that my mom bought him for like $2000. Or something. I played Conan on it a lot, that was a kick ass fucking game, smooth.

Back then I had a Vic20 300 baud modem and found an ad in the LA Times Classified for a BBS Chat Board called Baud Town. I met a lot of people on there. I was socially retarded and didn't know how to get phone numbers and keep in touch even though we would hang out together a lot.

I still think about it a lot, like my dad must think about me (maybe I should try to talk to him, :/ )

I was already a social retard, I dropped out of JR HIGH and my mom got me enrolled in a home school program. I was really smart, coming from a Highly Gifted Magnet, my IQ was really high, but my family was very weird and it's such a long story but I'm vexed with many a social disorder, with shyness being the worst. But social anxities, skin problems, teeth problems, personality problems, drug problems, you name em i may have them problems.

Problems can be dealt with, but trying to deal with life with no friends, or the ability to maintain a friendship is difficult, to say the least. I know, I used to have friends, it was fun, it was awesome, it was how life was meant to be lived.

Anyways, chat although alleviates the symptoms of my lonliness, it acts as an enabler in ways and keeps me from going out to try and experience things outside my room, because it is so easy to just be around you peoples who are real but I will never meet.

The people I grew up chatting with would tell me that the chat would retard my social experience if I let it take over my life. I don't know if that's true. A lot of people create real relationships and friendships over the internet. I think I just am incapable of doing it in real life or over the internet.

In fact I think it helps because I can see how people interact. And like Data from Star Trek, I can learn about this emotion you humans call love.

I observe your strange rituals and wish to be a part of them, however akwardly.

So I tried to make a WISH LIST (CLICK HERE). First things that came to mind for today. Clothes are a priority.
issue_:
...so does that mean...no sushi?skull
Nov 12, 2011
lone_ranger:
see you in chat
biggrin
Nov 13, 2011

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