kus

life is strange, why is the simple act of approaching someone and talking to them so insanely impossible for me to comprehend?

i think my life would be easier if i werent so shy!

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So i've been feeling really down lately, thinking I'll never make friends because I'm just uncapable of it. But then I thought I just need to keep trying. I thought of some things I could do that might work. Like going to AA meetings or something, they are supposed to be supportive (rolls eyes).

Ive tried this shit before but I guess I'm the only one that loses out. But then I would have to make an effort to quit? Nah, most of the people that go are still fucked up.

I guess the whole point is to make friends or something. I dunno.

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The second I stopped thinking life was so hopeless, I stopped feeling so hopeless. I guess I just feel my situation is hopeless but it isnt. I'm the one that keeps things from getting better.

And it isnt as bad as being in jail. I remember in there all I could think about was getting out. But once I did I was all scared again.

People dont realize and take for granted growing up in a normal house with people who socialize normally, who have friends and so on. I never learned how to be a normal, social person.

I just learned to be how I am.

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mostly i just day dream about what i wish i could do if i wasnt a shut-in.