kultboy

Twelve years in and I still often forget something I learnt in my first year as a professional filmmaker.

Sometimes one needs to just walk the fuck away.

Observe:

A few weeks ago I shot a TV Commercial for a large salon chain. We had to shoot with a bunch of actors/models and stylists in the store after hours and the store manager was none to pleased to be staying late.

So I rushed. I hate rushing.

I like to shoot fast but rushing means you always miss something or think you got something when really you didn't and should have done it again. Honestly as a director that is always my bigest fear. Did I get what I need? or did I think I got it and failed?

This factor combined with using an experimental lighting technique using on set lens flares and just shooting close ups meant that afterwards I was filled with dread at what the edit was going to be like.

I had also decided to cut it myself instead of letting one of my minions have a go at it first and then fix it later.

Twice I sat down in the last two weeks and twice I felt like banging my head against the table. Once I actually did.

I hated my footage. I scanned through it looking for usable moments and found nothing I liked. I stared at an empty timeline for hours.

I stalled the client by delaying some pickups shots I needed.

And then a big hard deadline smacked me in the face. The client is travelling to Melbourne and wants to show head office a draft of the TVC Thursday this week.

I find this out Monday morning.

Panic. I have several other deadlines this week. I have no time to get this done.

Through some shortcuts and film magic blah blah blah I managed to finish the other jobs early and at five o'clock yesterday (Tuesday) I'm ready to start this TVC.

I have twenty four hours till I need to deliver it and I have not started.

I sit down at the edit machine. I open the project and I still cant do it.

My brain is mush. It still sucks so fucking hard.

This job is a big opportunity for my studio. While the TVC is only for a single regional store it will put us in front of their national marketing manager. It may lead to a national campaign.

And I can't do it.

So I go home.

I walk away.

I go to the store. I buy food to cook for my sick girlfriend who has been home all day. I buy a bottle of whiskey.

I go home and sit and eat and drink and then read and then go to sleep easily.

This morning I woke up and went to work at ten (my usual start time).

I sat down at my desk. I opened the project.

AND I FUCKING NAILED IT IN THREE HOURS!

I'm exporting it to send to the client right now as I type.

So what changed?

Nothing as far as I can tell.

I love where it has ended up. It look amazing. All the pieces where there. I can't wait to show it off and even if the national marketing manager hates it, I am happy.

Hemingway once said 'There is nothing to writing. You just sit down at a typewriter and bleed'

I agree but I would also say that sometimes you need to bleed on the floor first. Bleed while walking. Bleed while buying food to cook for your sick girlfriend. Bleed while drinking whiskey. Bleed while you sleep.

You don't always have to bleed at the typewriter.

Sometimes you just have to walk the fuck away.