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I heart Lux.
I heart Zygoat.
I heart _____ and my image of ________ and my ___, _____.

I have a warm and fluffy feeling on my insides. Like a finely spun twirly blue raspberry cotton candy.
geneklein:
*touches your insides* Yup, definetly warm and fluffy feeling......and sweet as can be
razor13:
not wanting to come off to flirty...i been up all night...but the blue rasberry cotton candy sound sweet n' yummy....i think you ar trying to say if someone knows you well enough then they could fill in the blanks and i think i know two of them:___,____.....anyway, yeah i like what lux says too and if she is a friend of yours then that is nice also...i guess, i drank a lot and ate mushrooms and rode a bike on a ramp and almost broke my neck but had fun last night....my sentence structure seem to be suffering a lil' so i am gonna say TTFN....
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blush.
blush harder.
geneklein:
It is definetly not a good feeling to have about someone who you think is your friend.
It's worse to be that person if in fact they are wronging you!!
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Yesterday I reconnected with my old roomate Zygoat, who I lived with almost six years ago. It was amazing when we lived together because we were both doing so much magic in the apartment, and a couple of others as well, that the energy in there was very strong. There were people that couldn't deal with being in our house. It was that same energy...
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razor13:
that's wierd...i do talk to the fish and tell them how much i love them and i appreciate them sacrificing and that i wish they were going to feed people more worthy of their value as beings, i ask them to forgive me for not being in a position to reorder the chain so that they might be only fed to those with a pure heart and an honest soul....my mind could use a magic bean but all it has is tequila and weed right now....
kudra:
wow.
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I was tra-la-la-ing through downtown earlier and met some Hari Krsna boys. I think one of them was smitten with me. He invited me to their "Love Feast" Sunday. He wants to eat vegan dinner with me. He likes my Durga tattoo, and my name.
Krsna is high up on my totem pole, but I hear that my view of Krsna would be offensive to...
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wishicould:
Kinda sick in the sense that, I made the time to listen to him, and by his books, then have put them on a shelf, for what, posterity? I'm not sure completely. Keep twisting my arm I'm sure it'll break eventually, ow, ok the Bhagavad-Gita is next on my side table.
wishicould-feel my arm
razor13:
i don't much like killing them, they seem so proud as they fight for that last moment, i know i should do something that doesn't trouble me so much, but this is what i can manage because i can't do 40-50 hours of construction a week, i tried and i ended up hurt real bad...anyway i go out at 5am because we have to time the tide so we don't get caught in an area called the potato patch which has wrecked many boats and ships, i caught 12 salmon and i could feel their spirits follow me all day..i have drank some patron and i am sounding a lil' crazy...i will probably cath more this morning cuz they are really running right now, it is hard to be the exucutioner of such a beautiful being, i hope i can be worthy to take them, they fight hard for their lives and they bleed as much as a person...i only hope to be worthy...i lost 50 $$$ gambling with the other fisherman..the fate of murderers is to risk everything for nothing i was once told.....
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I don't get people who don't want to be understood. People who get off on being all mysterious, as if you could never possibly comprehend what is going on in their minds.
I feel like people that actually understand me are very few and far between and they are like gold when I find them. I don't get off on how cool I must be...
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fauxfoe39801:
i dont get it either, i really like it when people understand me and when they dont it really makes me mad, so i dont understand why people dont want to be understood, isnt it fraustrating for them?
eris:
Kudra,

I responded with one line after you explicity stated that you were not reading my entire posts to you and asked me to restate my previous post that still exists in your journal.

I had responded to the swastika issue, the class issue, as well as the overall race issue.

Those were the things that I thought were interesting, much more so that a debate over whether or not it can be infered that your friend is racist. Obviously, I think it can be and that this is not a place to qualify people by their ethnicity using terms such as "negress" which I'm sure the vast majority of the outside world would consider a term not so techinical.

I'm also confident that if you look back at the journal in question and peruse the responses left prior to mine, you'll see that I did not come up with the word "enlightened" on my own and that it was in refernce to various posts based on self and power. My comment, also, was only vaguely in refernce to Lux but more so a general comment to misanthropy, which I am warry of for obvious reasons.

Personally, I think misanthropy is a waste of time. It takes away the burden the catalysts change, or at least the force behind my energy and desire to work and live. In which case, I don't understand misanthropy, but that is all besides the point. I just don't have much desire to be a fatalist.
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At the Pyramid Base

Ah! Bursting explosion
Cannon ball over me under my head
your hands pull my hair and
snap my neck back
'til your push makes me pull
screaming torment
sizzle the deep-fat-fryer method of pain...

Oh, pain! Monotonous keeps me around
like the sound of your voice
as I drown to the level of knocked out wind and conciousness.
And dolphins' screams...
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tarbaby:
there are so many swank ones here in sf. the problem is that they know they are swank which makes them "unswank" if you know what i mean. it's weird-the last few years i've found myself attracted to big manly men,like 6'5" 200 and something pounds. they make me feel safe. plus i've got something to grab onto in those special moments....wink
eris:
kudra,

would you then say it's entirely possible to imply things without coming right out in a linear speech pattern and saying them?
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"Do you wanna be in my gang, my gang, my gang? Ya wanna be in my gang? Oh, yea."
--Gary Glitter

Come on, guys, let's all get together and decide things about people based on shit we know nothing about! Then we can ignore any factual conversation that opposes and might actually change our FASCIST LIKE viewpoints! In our confusion we can just ignore what...
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eris:
Eris: In my last post to you, I thought I explicitly pointed out that my issue isnt with Lux as "Nazi." If you can find where I called Lux a Nazi, please tell me. That wasnt me. My concern has been purely with language. The word negress while a techincal term for yall apparently, is not for others. Just like the term jewess would make folks screw up their faces, both jewess and negress have negative racial conotations.

So, regardless of how I feel about Nazis, we can let that rest as I never accussed anyone of being a Nazi.

>>How much 'proof' will ever be enough??

Eris: I dont need proof. No one needs to prove anything to me. Again, I think that certain things, like racist speech, should be left off a website that wants to be inclusive to people of color. This is a website where personality is what you put out. Every member of this site could list an endless stream of anecdotes from their lives to show that they are someone different than who they put forward on the site. Its part of the draw. I dont intend to know everyone biblically because they keep a weblog.

>>How stupid is that?

Eris: Her initial response was, Its unfortunate that you can not accept my personal sense of aesthetic. Thats what I based my comment on in FloggingChuckys, it struck me as an interesting reponse.

>>You know what, I am FIERCELY protective of my friends. And I hate when people can't admit they are wrong. Until you and Chucky face apologize to her and admit she isn't a stupid ass nazi, I can't picture us ever sitting down together. Not to get involved in the shit between you and her, but I imagine you are mad she said she doesn't like women who look like birds. But what do you expect when you go in someone's journal and put words in their mouth! She never said she was enlightened, and you went in there and said that because you had decided she was a nazi. That is really uncool. .

Eris: Why would I appologize for something I never said? Isnt that the crux of the argument here? Chucky has bowed out of this on his accord. He feels that said what he needed to, and now he is done.

And do you really think it bothers me that someone doesnt find me as attractive as I do? Thats why we make a gazillion flavors of icecream, right? It's fine to have different tastes. I think suicidegirls is a testimant to that.

I also am not the one that brought up being englightend to begin with. (Other than obvious illaminatus trilogy references but still, that would be illuminated and not enlightened, eh?) It was something I noticed while pursuing her journal. That comment, futhermore, could have been taken in several different ways. I addressed it to no one. I did not say, Lux, the Nazi, thinks she enlightened. I also did not say, These jerks arguing with Lux claim to be enlightened and that makes me warry. However, an obvious assumption was made, eh? That's what happens when we make ambigious comments, they are often interpreted.

>>I am extremely offended by your post to me. This whole load of shit has been bothering me to no end. Lux and I are both stand up girls. Were she a nazi, and I a friend of nazi, can you really picture either of us not yelling it out proudly? You may as well call both of us liars. It is insulting to no end No matter how many facts we throw up, still no has even said, "okay, maybe I'm wrong." You just want to keep going on with your witch hunt. Jesus christ. She's been studying Judaism for years now! She constantly quotes me Jewish mystycism. She used to be in love with my mexican friend. She bought medicine for my sick kitten. She has friends of every race.

Eris: As for the idea of the whichhunt, I would like to reiterate that I never said anyone was a Nazi. I even attempted to reaffirm my issue with my last post to you that was:

Whichever, I dont really care if anyone on the site is a Nazi, if that person has 10 children of mixed ethnicity, or if that person campaigns for Reparations in free time left over from volunteering at the Jewish Youth Center. I do care that word negress is offensive, that the phrase smelly Mexican is offensive, etc. On a website that is increasingly trying to be welcoming to people of color, I would hope we could leave these nomenclatures off the site.

What I meant by my first line in that paragraph was that regardless of how someone indentifies, I would still be offended by the term negress.

The orginal discorse began over reperations. It moved to racism, which is understandable. I have no interest in arguing about whether or not anyone is a Nazi. I never have had that interest, as Im sure youll see if you take another look.

I feel as though I said a lot in my last post to you. Im curious what you thought about those things?
tarbaby:
fyi:
i always read your journal. i love that you speak of painting,your kitty,your love for your friends,and your dreams. this nonsense that has been going on is fucking pathetic. what is ridiculous is that i specifically remember an entry of yours a while back in with you said that you hate skinheads.
i just wanted to let you know that not everyone is ignorant. love to you~a
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I find very few traits of human behavior to be more pathetic than somone insinuating something about someone, or accusing them of something; then said person retorts in a respectful manner and makes their case, then the original bs starter doesn't even reply.

Hmmm. Maybe I made too many good points. Or maybe he just does not agree with a thing I said. Either way,...
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kudra:
As is always the way of the blind.
dolorian:
did you see Pirates of the Caribean? did i spell that right? anyway, i think he's waaaaaaaaaayyyyyyyyyyy hot in that. all dready and dirty lookin. mmmmm
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For the record, I think Hitler was a putz. Anyone who blames an entire race for something is pretty stupid in my book. If I hate people, it's on a stricly personal level due to my interactions with them, and only taking into consideration what kind of person they are.

As well, I DO agree that it seems socially acceptable for blacks to be racist...
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razor13:
i will have a new internet link tomorrow and i won't have to hike 8 miles out of the wilderness anymore to pay 1$ for 10 minutes...i was getting used to the anti-tech thing, but it sure was lonely out there, i will be done in another month with livin' in the woods...i hope it is all worth it....i think in situations like the one you just described people hesitate on intervention because they are intimidated by that stigma, even though they might be racist even, because they want to chjoose the moment they would take action and it is probably easy for most people who witnessed an incident go down like that to dismiss both of you as "unworthy" of consideration because of physical appearances....kinda like a "let em' kill each other" attitude...but i am considered insane, so what do i know...
tigerlily:
eek! i just dropped by for a visit, so i'll stay out of the above conversation, but just for the record (ok, so i'm not staying out) i agree with your journal.

i spy i bit of the faerie folk in you my dear!

oooo...and natural born killers...i haven't seen that in a while, but i love it! maybe i'll rent it tonight...
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When I was wee, I would look at old black and white pictures and think that the whole world used to be black and white until color was invented in the 60's.

I learned about astrology and would proudly tell everyone that I was a 'virgin' as opposed to a Virgo.

And it still amazes me to remember how much faster I used to run...
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jaime:
It sure would be nice, huh?
jaime:
dude, I fucked up. didn't mean to leave two comments......oh well. I'll be seeing you in a matter ov minutes.


[Edited on Aug 23, 2003]