The last 24 hours have been great. My aunt and uncle recently moved out to Hag Lake (about 50 miles out of Portland) so I went out there last night. Their house is up on a hill above the lake and there is a huge porch that looks out over the lake and it is beautiful. And they have a big huge yard that I...
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Another hot day......I had scrumdidilliupmptious ice cream after work.
I don't think my exciting weekend visitor is happening after all, so I'll move on to being excited about the weekend visitor I get next weekend. Who is ultra exciting. As well as being the coolest, tallest Korean ever.
I don't think my exciting weekend visitor is happening after all, so I'll move on to being excited about the weekend visitor I get next weekend. Who is ultra exciting. As well as being the coolest, tallest Korean ever.
razor13:
as soon as i shake death's icy grip on my soul.....
I'm in a lot better mood today 
Ripping up all that stuff was a good idea.
Razor will be here in two days and Sunday we will go to the naked beach!! With Sean! I can't wait. I haven't been there yet this year. The naked beach here is the only good one I have ever been too. Relatively free of sexual activity. And lots...
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Ripping up all that stuff was a good idea.
Razor will be here in two days and Sunday we will go to the naked beach!! With Sean! I can't wait. I haven't been there yet this year. The naked beach here is the only good one I have ever been too. Relatively free of sexual activity. And lots...
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kudra:
wow. Little 10:30 pm visits....someone very sad just came by my house. Someone whose name I don't even remember, needing my help.
I was just talking with Razor last night about how much I can morph into other people's pain. I feel like it means I have a heart, a big one, but at the same time it is a big reason I get so sad too often.
I think that 70's commercial saying,"I'd like to buy the world a coke", is my theme song or something. It's how I feel. I wish I could solve everyone's problems.
I'm always more than happy to be the shoulder to cry on if I feel like your saddness or problems are valid and aren't tinged with some sort of bull shit you caused yourself and can't own up to.
I was just talking with Razor last night about how much I can morph into other people's pain. I feel like it means I have a heart, a big one, but at the same time it is a big reason I get so sad too often.
I think that 70's commercial saying,"I'd like to buy the world a coke", is my theme song or something. It's how I feel. I wish I could solve everyone's problems.
I'm always more than happy to be the shoulder to cry on if I feel like your saddness or problems are valid and aren't tinged with some sort of bull shit you caused yourself and can't own up to.
jaime:
that sounds interesting...I have never been to a nude beach before..too afraid of the uglies & the fatties I guess. ha ha ha
well, I hope you have fun & stuff
Sunday is good for me...sorry about the phone tag. didn't call you yesterday because I was at work forever...
but today is another day.
well, I hope you have fun & stuff
Sunday is good for me...sorry about the phone tag. didn't call you yesterday because I was at work forever...
but today is another day.
Wow.
I just tore up nearly 4 years worth of journals I have wanted to destory for about 6 years. I'm glad I finally did it. I kept going back and forth between reasons i should keep it, but I read it all again in the last month and I'm glad it's all desroyed now. I couldn't burn it like I wanted becuaue I have...
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I just tore up nearly 4 years worth of journals I have wanted to destory for about 6 years. I'm glad I finally did it. I kept going back and forth between reasons i should keep it, but I read it all again in the last month and I'm glad it's all desroyed now. I couldn't burn it like I wanted becuaue I have...
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kudra:
Actually I feel way better today. I was over all the shit in those notebooks then it's all got stirred back up in the last two months. I was saving them becuase I was maybe going to re-write them into a book, but I just don't want to.
bleh:
sometimes it's good to just clean the slate.....
good on ya for doing it
good on ya for doing it
I need to get out of this little misanthropic wonderland.
Today I am weak and a coward.
At least I can admit it.
Today I am weak and a coward.
At least I can admit it.
kudra:
wax and wane, wax and wane, wax and wane
Everything comes in threes.........I really think it does, sometimes every three minutes.
3, 3, 3.
Sigh.
Everything comes in threes.........I really think it does, sometimes every three minutes.
3, 3, 3.
Sigh.
kudra:
btw, I think Razor is really fucking cool.
I can't wait to meet you in less than 4 days.
I can't wait to meet you in less than 4 days.
I
feel
blaaaaaaaaaaaa.
The sort-of high I was riding on is leveling off. I"m not sad or anything, but just not happy either. My life is frusterating me today. I'm very aware of everything that's missing.
Or my soul has been temporarily replaced with a lumpy, bland potatoe.
I feel blank.
feel
blaaaaaaaaaaaa.
The sort-of high I was riding on is leveling off. I"m not sad or anything, but just not happy either. My life is frusterating me today. I'm very aware of everything that's missing.
Or my soul has been temporarily replaced with a lumpy, bland potatoe.
I feel blank.
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
hyenahell:
exactly.
jaime:
it was absolutely amazing...utterly magickal! like a dream come true! Jesse is doing well. he is so incredible..i love him sooooo much, he's my best friend in thee entire universe. we are certain that we have a divine agenda..we were born to collaborate. i'll call you when i get off the 'puter.
will
love
will
love
I've been reading through Apocolypse Culture II and I think that Issei Sagawa is one of the two most interesting murderers ever--the other being Richard Ramirez for the excessively creepy randomness in choosing who he killed. Or rather the lack of 'profiling'.
Issei Sagawa killed a girl he was in school with in France in the early 80's by shooting her in the back of...
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Issei Sagawa killed a girl he was in school with in France in the early 80's by shooting her in the back of...
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portia:
nothing like a french girl to calm your life long cannibal craving. I wonder if he ate her like a little french dip sandwhich. yummy
razor13:
i share a lot of sagawa's views on the experience of life taking....the regret part anyway, and how could anyone go through that and not do anything in their power to not experience it again...i would get on the plane tonight just to meet you for a drink and a smoke and a chat....i have done crazier things and taken greater risk for experiences that promised less reward....i am not a good couch surfer, i am a better squatter, so iwas not assuming or expecting anyone to put me up, but if a situation feels welcoming, then i am kinda like a vampire, you have to invite me in....unlike a vampire i leave your soul intact...and your household, hopefully...i am getting my phone fixed tomorrow and i will call you as i got it...
How was your Solstice???
Mine was pretty good. After my friend dicked me over by taking off for the beach and forgetting we were supposed to go out, I wound up getting to hang out with my friend Tim, who's fresh outta the slammer, and his girlfriend. Life is so strange sometimes I still can't quite get over certain aspects of it.
Was up unitl...
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Mine was pretty good. After my friend dicked me over by taking off for the beach and forgetting we were supposed to go out, I wound up getting to hang out with my friend Tim, who's fresh outta the slammer, and his girlfriend. Life is so strange sometimes I still can't quite get over certain aspects of it.
Was up unitl...
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I have so many thoughts running through my head. Unfortunately I'm not in the mood for speaking in code, so I'm not going to say a thing on here. I like this "journal" and I hate it. I can't bring myself to write privately on paper, and what I can wrtie about on here is limited. It's good and bad. I'm sure it doesn't make...
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bleh:
true , but at the time i had to vent somewhere and this was the safest forum.. a bunch of strangers who don't know me or the people i spoke of.. and really, if they were to find it it wouldn't be fatal, it was just easier to remove it after it had served its purpose to me..
joubee:
Yes code can get rather silly after a while...like me have to mask our visceral expressions to keep cool.
VITAGNIALO!
Wretched curse
Lifted
Wretched weight
Of sand bags on my body
Like lead
And the next thing you know..
Aaaaw.
Happy sunshine sun shines on our faces once again
And the memories of you are over-flowing
And the feeling they put in my body
Mind
Heart
Never again torn from you
Never again black tar whispers in my mind
Convulsing
Body writing in pain...
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Wretched curse
Lifted
Wretched weight
Of sand bags on my body
Like lead
And the next thing you know..
Aaaaw.
Happy sunshine sun shines on our faces once again
And the memories of you are over-flowing
And the feeling they put in my body
Mind
Heart
Never again torn from you
Never again black tar whispers in my mind
Convulsing
Body writing in pain...
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VIEW 5 of 5 COMMENTS
hyenahell:
i've read that one... it's pretty good but kind of dated, scattered... but a good source of info. i can send you a list of some good vodou reads, if ya want.
twwly:
delaney has an SG membership?
I just woke up, just got your message...I'll call you.
CRISPIN HELLION GLOVER is the most attractive man that has ever walked this earth. and he's got personality & wit...not to mention he enjoys offending people or at least getting them to think about offense topics. just read his essay concerning his film WHAT IS IT in Apocalypse Culture II. Have you seen the new Charlie's Angels yet? his beauty is so immense that he seems supernatural. it would be impossible for me to choose just one of his previous characters as a crush. They all have affected me...& they all are really hot. Larry, Layne, Rubin, Willard, The Thin Man, McFly & the list goes on & on.