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kudra

Portland

Member Since 2003

Followers 16 Following 5

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Sunday Aug 03, 2003

Aug 3, 2003
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Well moving right along in the spirit of my last journal entry, the last of the three things I really want to be doing sounds like it could happen soon too.
I went out with some friends last night to Karaoke and it was soooooooooo fun. Got to sing Summer Nights, as well as Magic with Lux as her first time karaoke-ing. It was very fun.
Anyways, I recently mentioned wanting a Joan Jett cover band. There are a few 70's/80's cover bands I have always thought would be so fun. So this girl walks up to our table and asks if any of us will sing Joan Jett, becuase we look like that type. It was too late. So I go out and start dancing with her and she tells me she is starting a Blondie cover band. Blondie is most definetely something else I would looooove to do. So she should be calling me about singing if they get it off the ground.
I'd really like to be back doing original stuff like before, but for now I'd be content to just cover someone else, just to be able to be singing again. It's a lot easier to organize for some reason. And if I actually started doing that it would be alot easier later on to get something else going again.

I reek of.............
VIEW 4 of 4 COMMENTS
hyenahell:
i reek of... dogs; cigarette smoke; failure.

scarrified: both intentionally/unintentionally... a lot of the unintentional scars are from metal working or casting, but some are from dumb, reckless shit. the intentional ones are either ritual or left over from a shaky emotional period... i get asked a lot if i don't want to treat them or go to a cosmetic surgeon and i just laugh. they're all reminders, almost like tattoos, of events both good and bad. i'd never get rid of them. i am looking at a scarification process using a tattoo gun to etch into the skin- i've seen pictures, i yields a very beautiful, precise line. i am working on designs for that, but none as of yet...
and...
i would love to see you in a blondie cover band! smile
Aug 4, 2003
vastad:
I wish you the best in your singing. I'd personally like to go to a voice trainer. Ever since I was young, my Dad who doesn't have a singing voice assumed that I didn't either and has always asked me if I could sing and...to please him I guess at that young age...I agreed. SO what I've carried around is an assumption.

The truth is I DON'T know if I can sing because I've never tried. It is time to believe nothing, assume nothing and give it a try.

Keep me updated on your singing. It's encouraging for my own development.

***

RE: Live Everywhere

I've been a few places yes. I am lucky. In many ways and the more I mature, grow up, metamorphose from child to adult, the more gifts I recognise I Have.

But from my own experience, it's one thing to have been somewhere and another to have been somewhere. Catch my meaning? It is no one's fault but my own, never really understanding the enlightenment maxim of "being in the moment". I have a better idea now and sometimes I'm not asleep as I usually am.

***

Re: Taking opinions personally

I'm still not past that little human/perceptual flaw. I guess I still believe that the 'truth' in someone else's head is as important as my own. Hence I have that urge to correct it in others.

The practical maxim of "fuck what others think of you" still misses my mark.

If Jim were to write something negative about me, I would likely be hurt, take it seriously and dislike Jim and it would be a challenge to accept that in the end....it's just an opinion and has only circumstantial effect on my life and reality.

Sometimes what people say hits a button. The most recent example was when a friend told me she thought my going to University to study Cybernetics was the wrong decision, that I should be 'growing up and building a career at my age'. That angered me and hurt me because I felt she greatly overstepped a line in the sand somewhere, and was greatly assumptive about knowing what was best for me. But she never backed down from that opinion and defended it. I had to grudgingly admire that she didn't change her opinion or whitewash simply to appeal to me. In the end, what's in her head can't affect me. It STILL bugs me that it's there but there IS something I can do about it.

I can prove her wrong.

***

Yes. Get Cosmic Trigger. Then 'Prometheus Rising' also by R.A.W.

***

RE: Jealousy

My sun sign and many other portents gently agree that I am the jealous type. I am. But I work on it.

This is related laterally to what I talked about above about opinions in people's heads. It's - I think - a human need to be special in someone else's universe above all others. I guess it comfirms love and confirms that 'I' exist. Something along those lines, it's hard to nail down in words. An error in believing that love is a finite resource...which in a way it is because of the way the average Jane and Joe handle it.

I suppose the ideal is that if you know how to love yourself, then you have no fear and therefore no jealousy. I think....

I still see the pursuit of human affection in terms of winning and losing....a war. When I win, I'm happy, when I lose, I'm sad. This I think is probably the wrong way to look at it.

There is in general, far too much sadness and melancholy in my experiences and approach to love and affection. This I need to change. I have courage to accept that it will hurt and that it will be worth it, because the odds are, beyond that hurt is what I thought I could never have.

***

Bah! What a mess my thoughts are in...

***

I apologise for the long post....you got me thinking...plus this movie I just saw...
Aug 4, 2003

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