Happy 23rd.
I had the most wonderful night last night. My dear sweetness Nick came over for dinner, as well as Big Sleepy Seann and my friend Tracy. We sat on the porch cracking up for a good long while. (If you crave vagina, then you know what I mean)
It was really nice. I think Nick will be living here again by my birthday, but I'm not going to count on it until everything is finalized. I got a little weepy after he left, and it put me in a mood that lasted through the morning.
Today I've felt like I'm going through puberty or something, my little emotional landscapes have been so up and down. I've had too much on my mind lately, but I did finally have a thought this afternoon that alleviated much of what was going on in my head. Hopefully it will be permanent.
I've been obsessed with the This Mortal Coil version of Song of a Siren lately. Seann was telling me a story of that song I don't remember exactly......but it goes something like this:
A guy (or was it the guys dad?) either way, I think they were both musicians. One day said man was at a river with his friend and he went in the river and started floating along on his back. He kept getting further and further away, and his friend kept asking him if he was okay, come back, etc.He kept saying he was all right. But he drowned. The song implies it wasn't accidental.....but I am obsessed with the thought that it wasn't necessarily 'suicide' either.
These are the lyrics--
"Long afloat on ship less oceans
I did all my best to smile
'Til your singing eyes and fingers
Drew me loving to your isle
And you sang, "Sail to me, sail to me,
Let me enfold you,
Here I am, here I am
Waiting to hold you"
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you hare when I was fox?
Now my foolish boat is leaning
Broken lovelorn on your rocks
For you sing, "Touch me not, touch me not,
come back tomorrow: O my heart,
O my heart shies from the sorrow"
I am puzzled as the newborn child
I am troubled at the tide:
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Should I lie with death my bride?
Hear me sing, "Swim to me, swim to me,
Let me enfold you,
Here I am, Here I am,
Waiting to hold you"
It has become a mediation for me in the last week to imagine this man floating down the river.....his ears are just under the water and he can hear the current....he can hear the voice in this song (the most beautiful song in the world, in my opinion, with Elizabeth Frazier singing it), and he doesn't make a concious decision to die......he just decides to.....go to what he hears. It isn't even really like a death....but just moving on. Being enveloped by the water sounds beautiful.
But then again, I'm too sentimental.
I had the most wonderful night last night. My dear sweetness Nick came over for dinner, as well as Big Sleepy Seann and my friend Tracy. We sat on the porch cracking up for a good long while. (If you crave vagina, then you know what I mean)
It was really nice. I think Nick will be living here again by my birthday, but I'm not going to count on it until everything is finalized. I got a little weepy after he left, and it put me in a mood that lasted through the morning.
Today I've felt like I'm going through puberty or something, my little emotional landscapes have been so up and down. I've had too much on my mind lately, but I did finally have a thought this afternoon that alleviated much of what was going on in my head. Hopefully it will be permanent.
I've been obsessed with the This Mortal Coil version of Song of a Siren lately. Seann was telling me a story of that song I don't remember exactly......but it goes something like this:
A guy (or was it the guys dad?) either way, I think they were both musicians. One day said man was at a river with his friend and he went in the river and started floating along on his back. He kept getting further and further away, and his friend kept asking him if he was okay, come back, etc.He kept saying he was all right. But he drowned. The song implies it wasn't accidental.....but I am obsessed with the thought that it wasn't necessarily 'suicide' either.
These are the lyrics--
"Long afloat on ship less oceans
I did all my best to smile
'Til your singing eyes and fingers
Drew me loving to your isle
And you sang, "Sail to me, sail to me,
Let me enfold you,
Here I am, here I am
Waiting to hold you"
Did I dream you dreamed about me?
Were you hare when I was fox?
Now my foolish boat is leaning
Broken lovelorn on your rocks
For you sing, "Touch me not, touch me not,
come back tomorrow: O my heart,
O my heart shies from the sorrow"
I am puzzled as the newborn child
I am troubled at the tide:
Should I stand amid the breakers?
Should I lie with death my bride?
Hear me sing, "Swim to me, swim to me,
Let me enfold you,
Here I am, Here I am,
Waiting to hold you"
It has become a mediation for me in the last week to imagine this man floating down the river.....his ears are just under the water and he can hear the current....he can hear the voice in this song (the most beautiful song in the world, in my opinion, with Elizabeth Frazier singing it), and he doesn't make a concious decision to die......he just decides to.....go to what he hears. It isn't even really like a death....but just moving on. Being enveloped by the water sounds beautiful.
But then again, I'm too sentimental.
VIEW 12 of 12 COMMENTS
alia666:
I've only been spinning for a few months now. I really want to learn how to breathe fire.
jezebelle:
hello beautiful!