My heart feels heavy.
I dropped my odd boy off at the airport today and he is now on a flight between here and Dubai (ultimate destination is Afghanistan).
I don't really think I have processed it all yet. I am not really sure how I feel. I mean, I have this overall feeling of heavy ickyness, but nothing that I can really explain in detail.
Right when I dropped him off he said, "How are you feeling about all this? Are you OK with it? You can tell me if you aren't." I didn't say anything I just smiled to keep my tears in and hugged him so he wouldn't see my face. How could I tell him I am not OK with it? He was doing this save the world bit long before he met me. I am sure that's part of the reason I love him, but of course I want him to drop everything and just snuggle with me. I know that doesn't make any logical sense... ugh what should I have said to that?
"Stay! Don't fly away now! Ignore that people are expecting you, ignore all the great work you were in the middle of doing there, and ignore that you have already paid for for travel! Just stay with me!"
No...
I am sorry to anyone that is reading my whining. I am just having a hard time.
I will survive.
He will survive.
We will survive.
Oh, but then there is the whole ploy business...but I don't have the cognitive wherewithal to explain my thoughts on that... later.
So, my life is not all bad! My boy and I are planning to move to the city (SF) together! Things are moving along very nicely on that front! We've been playing in the city lately and here are a few pics.
First of all Brides of March!
Ok, so I was going to post a few more pics, but my internet is going appalingly slow so that's all ya get fer now!
Going to go drink some wine and go to sleep.
Toodles Noodles
I dropped my odd boy off at the airport today and he is now on a flight between here and Dubai (ultimate destination is Afghanistan).
I don't really think I have processed it all yet. I am not really sure how I feel. I mean, I have this overall feeling of heavy ickyness, but nothing that I can really explain in detail.
Right when I dropped him off he said, "How are you feeling about all this? Are you OK with it? You can tell me if you aren't." I didn't say anything I just smiled to keep my tears in and hugged him so he wouldn't see my face. How could I tell him I am not OK with it? He was doing this save the world bit long before he met me. I am sure that's part of the reason I love him, but of course I want him to drop everything and just snuggle with me. I know that doesn't make any logical sense... ugh what should I have said to that?
"Stay! Don't fly away now! Ignore that people are expecting you, ignore all the great work you were in the middle of doing there, and ignore that you have already paid for for travel! Just stay with me!"
No...
I am sorry to anyone that is reading my whining. I am just having a hard time.
I will survive.
He will survive.
We will survive.
Oh, but then there is the whole ploy business...but I don't have the cognitive wherewithal to explain my thoughts on that... later.
So, my life is not all bad! My boy and I are planning to move to the city (SF) together! Things are moving along very nicely on that front! We've been playing in the city lately and here are a few pics.
First of all Brides of March!
Ok, so I was going to post a few more pics, but my internet is going appalingly slow so that's all ya get fer now!
Going to go drink some wine and go to sleep.
Toodles Noodles