I feel like having myself a good blog. I am in a really strange place in my life at the moment. I know only a few people ever read this so I thought it might be a nice place for me to just put some thoughts down.
I am sad and happy about it. I feel tied down and suddenly free all at once. It is very strange. I guess I am not sure how much detail I feel like going into at the moment. All aspects of my life will being coming to a very important impasse sometime in June. In June I will graduate from UCSC (weeee I'll have a BA!). Before that time comes I need to plan what to do with the rest of my life. At least what to do with my year off before grad school. I need to decide what grad schools to apply to. In addition to all that business, there is the little matter of the relationship that I have been in for the last 6.5 years.
We had one of those relationship talks this evening. I still feel up in the air about the situation, but it sounds like come June we may go our own ways. We both still love each other, but seem to have grown into two very different people over the years. I guess we're doing a "wait and see" sort of thing right now. That doesn't leave me too optimistic though. I think we're both trying to make whatever happens go as smoothly as we can, but it is quite a strange situation.
Somehow I've never felt so free to make my life what I want as this, but I am also feeling that uneasy bit that must always accompany change. Who will I be? I feel generally comfortable with myself, but how will this all go? I am am worried, but excited to find out! I want to experience life. My life.
In less serious news, my trip to SD went pretty well. I enjoy seeing my sister. I am glad we're as close as we are. It is nice to have her as a friend. It is also nice that we share academic interests as well. She took me along to her cognitive neruoscience lab and I really enjoyed it. I'd sort of wanted to meet her adviser/prof, but that was not in the cards.
Well, I guess that was just an out pour of what was rattling around my skull. Nothing is settled.
I am sad and happy about it. I feel tied down and suddenly free all at once. It is very strange. I guess I am not sure how much detail I feel like going into at the moment. All aspects of my life will being coming to a very important impasse sometime in June. In June I will graduate from UCSC (weeee I'll have a BA!). Before that time comes I need to plan what to do with the rest of my life. At least what to do with my year off before grad school. I need to decide what grad schools to apply to. In addition to all that business, there is the little matter of the relationship that I have been in for the last 6.5 years.
We had one of those relationship talks this evening. I still feel up in the air about the situation, but it sounds like come June we may go our own ways. We both still love each other, but seem to have grown into two very different people over the years. I guess we're doing a "wait and see" sort of thing right now. That doesn't leave me too optimistic though. I think we're both trying to make whatever happens go as smoothly as we can, but it is quite a strange situation.
Somehow I've never felt so free to make my life what I want as this, but I am also feeling that uneasy bit that must always accompany change. Who will I be? I feel generally comfortable with myself, but how will this all go? I am am worried, but excited to find out! I want to experience life. My life.
In less serious news, my trip to SD went pretty well. I enjoy seeing my sister. I am glad we're as close as we are. It is nice to have her as a friend. It is also nice that we share academic interests as well. She took me along to her cognitive neruoscience lab and I really enjoyed it. I'd sort of wanted to meet her adviser/prof, but that was not in the cards.
Well, I guess that was just an out pour of what was rattling around my skull. Nothing is settled.
VIEW 7 of 7 COMMENTS
kttron:
Thanks y'all for the kind words. 
tastycorpse666:
Haha, yeah they are cheap and some stores have more of a variety than most Catholics know what to do with. I think the lack of fragrance keeps the price down. I do love that hat by the way.