I've been feeling kinda dead inside lately. I didn't realize that until someone came back into my life this weekend. I haven't felt so much it's scary. Usually I have control of my emotions. But now, I'm an emotional wreck. I haven't seen her in about 9, 10 years. She's made some bad decisions in the past, and it makes me disappointed and hurt. But I support her entirely and love her like crazy. Back then it was puppy love. I'm not sure how she feels now that we're back in touch.
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I can comprehend distrusting strangers, but as far as I'm concerned, a friend of a friend(girl) is not a stranger in the dangerous sense, and I am totally dedicated to being able to freely associate with people who I consider to be friends.
She's met several of my closest friends, but there is a fairly large number of people who I consider to be my friends, and since I seldom have people over there are literally dozens of people who I call "friend" who's she's never met during our 10 month stint . I'm a sociable friendly sort of guy (even though I don't go out much) who works in an industry where I'm constantly meeting people. I have a lot of people coming into my life all the time. I love meeting new people. It's a key part of who I am. That's why I was able to turn away from her so suddenly. As soon as I saw that we had a fundamental disagreement over how one should approach life, I realized that I couldn't say with her any longer. I'm not going to wait around to see if she's going to change. Screw that.
Wow.
Thanks for getting me to write all that. I'm feeling better by the day.