I haven't posted a life update for such a long time. But actually few things have happened since my arrival home from St. Petersbourg.
Most of the time I am working. I haven't done any photoshootings lately... The photographers in my town are not interested in collaboration with me. They are not interested in shooting nude/sexual content or shooting something creative... not interested actually in shooting anything as it looks like... well nobody in our town seems to be interested in anything at all. I am losing interest in life gradually too btw. I am always at home because there aren't any interesting places to visit, no friends to go out together and weather sucks. My town is opressing all the cheer. Actually what I do now is saving money because I decided to leave for St Pete forever. I don't want to waste my time on Smolensk anymore. Someone would probably think that I am exxagerating but I am not. If you are familiar with the concept of "Depressive town" - meet Smolensk. Our region is one of the poorest in Russia and everything people want to do here is getting drunk and doing drugs. So 32 years in Smolensk depression in enough for me. Time has come to change my life!
(This photo is another preview from my upcoming set "Live stream" shot by amazing @ultramarie).
I have another changes in my life. We made it up with my husband. I decided to give our marriage one more chance after when he abused me around Christmas. We are not living together yet and will not do untill we move to St Pete but we spend time together on weekends when he has days off. He is not drinking at all for a month already and I like his attitude as it is now. He works at a new job and also saves rvery cent for our St Petersbourg move goal. I can't be sure in anything but actually whatever he may do I will stay safe as he has no keys to my appartment. We are not telling people much that we are together again... personally I don't want to talk about it because so many people were for our break, so many of my friends told me I don't need him in my life. But love and relationships is something more complicated. I am feeling right now with him. And I don't want to regret the past or be worried over future... I just want to enjoy the present instead.
My mood is mostly meh these days because as I suppose I have prebirthday depression🙃 My birthday is on March 18th and I am waiting for it on the one hand because this is my favourite day of the year (yes I love attention and gifts) but on the other hand I am feeling old and tired. Yet I have plsns for some cool birthday events on all my platforms (and of course I would make a special Birthday live on SG😀). If you want to keep up with the news, follow me on Twitter, all the updates gonna be posted there. If you want to make me a birthday present, look for ideas on my wishlist or get my content (I have some special March discounts and will have even more! Stay tuned!)
That's all for now I think. Kisses from me and Zelda!
@missy @sean @rambo @eirenne @lemon
