krys_____

wow, how is it that I get a job and now I am fucked more financially than I was when I was self-employed and barely making ends meet? I swear, I get paid ok, every two weeks though, so by the time I get the funds I have nothing to show for it anymore. I just got a paycheck, and it's spent, and I already have to ask my parents to help me out this month. Mortifying... what's worse is that my house mates financial aid has not cleared yet (which I am really pissed off about, because had he not fucked off all summer and gotten his shit together we would not be in this mess to begin with), so I have to go and beg my landlord's to not throw us out next month if we are short, shit. I am so fucked.

What makes it worse is that I had all of this medical testing done a few months back, and I thought my insurance was going to cover it, and it turns out they aren't. Fuck. That's why I have to beg my parents for money, to cover that part of the bills. If it weren't for that exorbitant fee, I would be able to handle it, but now I can't handle that and buy groceries and pay rent and pay my normal bills that are due... shit, I am so fucked.

I'm sorry to be such a killjoy, especially since I have not been about much lately... but yeah, I'm in a bit of a mess. All of you people who said you would buy art, and then convienantly have put me off for months or weeks I am really mad at right now. I know it's a frivolous, unecessary purchase to you, but it was how I made my living for a long time and still a large part of my income, and I really count on you guys when you tell me to save soemthing for you and then never get back to me, or worse yet put me off because "you can't afford it when you tell me you want it". If that's the case then don't even tell me you want it. I'm sorry, I know how shitty this is, but I have had too many people do this to me in recent months, and I 'm sick of being the person who has to come begging to remind people to fulfill their obligations, it makes me feel like such an ass. And it's also my financial independence on the line, and well, if I don't acquire the funds I am going to have to prostate myself on the mercy of other people, and that thought just makes my skin crawl.

Ok, I'm done ranting, I have o go to work and make the little bit of money that will (hopefully) carry me into next month. I hope to be about soon and not be quite so pissy.